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    JOHNTJ1   73,547
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Turning "Cant"s Into "Cans." A Few Personal Examples

Monday, August 20, 2012

Who tells your story?

Here’s a hint: If you walk to the closest mirror and take a good hard look you will meet the author of your personal journey. It’s not mom, dad, husband, wife, or BF. It’s you. From the moment you are born there is a cosmic pen poised in your hand to write about a journey that is so unique and so amazing that in was entrusted to you and you alone. Can ya give me a sincere Amen? How’s about a hearty Hallelujah?

Yeah, me either. Some days, the importance and impact of my life journey gets lost in the excuses of negativity and doubt. Sad thing was none of them are legitimate. They were excuses, the kind I make when I want to feel better about copping out on a commitment. Yes, I hear some of you in the back of the room saying “Well what if I don’t WANT to do something?” Well you don’t have to! If you really WANT to, you will find a way. Saying I CAN’T just means I want to feel better about not getting something accomplished. Don’t get me wrong. Some things take much longer to accomplish than other things (See Weight Loss.) but it is never a matter of not having the tools. We were born with them they are our standard operating equipment and from the very moment we are cognizant of the differences we create between each other we want someone else’s tools. Ours aren’t good enough or shiny enough. We want to be taller or shorter or have a certain complexion or hair color. It’s when we begin to limit ourselves. Someone else has what we want and for whatever reason we begin to create the “cant’s”

I am a really good example of this “Stinkin’ Thinkin’ “as Zig Ziglar likes to call it.

Imagine you are Yoda’s younger brother and live in a Bible belt community of roughly 50,000 people. If it isn’t in the Bible or Sunday business section it just won’t hold water. So when you start exploring, the spiritual aspects of yoga people start whispering about burning you at the stake. The yoga class in my community offers no meditation component. So I walked around singing the blues and saying it would really be nice to have some alternative stuff to do but ya know “I can’t………”

God became weary of listening to me whine. One afternoon I am in a restaurant (It’s always about food isn’t it, lol) waiting on a client and the server and I strike up a conversation. She’s a new mom who is, wait for it………a yoga instructor. Matter of fact she emphasizes the spiritual side of yoga as well as the physical and health benefits and yes she works with clients privately. We are going to meet next week to talk about what she can do for me. I have to drive 100 miles one way for this experience but I sorta heard God ask me “You want your cake and eat it to?” It’s a start, a beginning, a “can.” I had an opportunity and I am a bit nervous, (See negative self-image blogs lol.) but it’s something I want to be a part of my life.

When my dad died a few months ago I struggled with the grieving process. I process things at a really intense level and plunge way, way deep into thought and emotion. (See Joan being canonized a saint for living with this for close to forty years.) I had no one to talk to about some of the feelings I was experiencing. A friend suggested a book, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. I devoured it. I sat openly crying as I read parts of it because OMG she’s writing about me and ya know what I am NOT CRAZY.

You think I’d be satisfied. I got upset because all I had was a book!! I scoured the internet for people like Tara who lived close to me and found none – another “can’t.”

In his infinite wisdom or maybe once again growing weary of my moaning God threw me another pearl. Tara Brach conducts a class each Wednesday evening in Bethesda, MD and guess what? They are available as podcasts the next day. Her guidance and insights have meant so much to me. They provide me with clarity and some sort of direction. If any of you happen to attend her sessions would you please let her know what she does has tremendous impact in places she doesn’t even realize. (Or maybe she does.) It became a “can.”

We all write our own story and we all accept our own unique challenges. For my part I am going to highlight all the “cant’s” in my story and replace them with “cans.”

Namaste my dear ones.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PROVERBS31JULIA 8/27/2012 8:43AM


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DUTCHIEKIWI 8/26/2012 11:45PM

    John, it is always a pleasure to read your blogs, and more often than not have you managed to pick me up with your words at JUST the right time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom ;-)


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MARCYNA 8/24/2012 11:32AM

    Oh I can yes I can, thanks for this beautiful blog

Comment edited on: 8/25/2012 6:26:37 AM

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BTINTERNET 8/21/2012 2:58PM

    Dear John,

Thanks as always for your wise thoughts!

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LYNMEINDERS 8/21/2012 6:16AM

    Another brilliant blog John....

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NASFKAB 8/21/2012 6:11AM


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WONDERFUL2BME 8/21/2012 4:40AM

    Synchonicity at work brother! I love it when stuff like this happens. So sorry about your loss. In 2009 I lost my mom to cancer and my beautiful brother to suicide. Talk about sending my world reeling. Even though at times I thought the tears would never end if I let them start, they do. It is so important to release the emotions. They may seem like they are bottomless, but there is an end and feeling will return to those parts that seem so numb.

I wrote a very small book about my experience with grief to help my healing process. It is available on kindle to borrow. Coping With Loss by Angelica ORourke. I hope it can be helpful to you.

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POPSY190 8/21/2012 1:41AM

    We were brought up with the saying, 'No such word as "can't" ', and I don't think the reference was to grammar and punctuation.

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MARITIMER3 8/20/2012 10:28PM

    Yes, I can; and yes, I will!

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HDHAWK 8/20/2012 9:50PM

    The book and podcasts sound interesting. Have you ever heard of the Inside Out Weight Loss podcast? It's very good too. I set my clock early this morning to work out before school (first day of school & working out). Well, I didn't get up so I forced myself to have no excuses and took a walk after dinner (not my ideal time of day). I'm happy to say it's day 1 of not letting "I'm too tired" win!

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THESLIMMERME1 8/20/2012 3:22PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VONBLACKBIRD 8/20/2012 2:33PM

    If there is a will there is a way..Can'ts should always be questioned as "why not?" and then turned into Cans...Thanks.

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    My father hates the word can't and I was not allowed to use it as a child. If I dared to say I couldn't do something he would prove it to me that I could. Lesson learned. So today I know for a fact that I can do anything I set my mind to or if I really physically (can't) do something, like pee standing up without filling my shoes, I won't dare say so as he is still alive. LOL.

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REGILIEH 8/20/2012 1:47PM

    you are too wonderful for words!

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MMARTHUR 8/20/2012 12:31PM

    Just ordered the book on my Kindle. Am anxious to read it. Thanks for sharing. I need to start changing some of my can'ts into cans. I have spent too much time in the "can'ts" lately. Am ready to make some changes!

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HARRIET2 8/20/2012 12:16PM

    Thank you for the reminder. You are so right

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