Sunday, August 19, 2012
I have decided to look at things a little differently for the moment. I have been on this website since March and have not made any progress (weight wise). I know I'm fighting my own battle inside of me...not just emotionally, but I think physically. I just don't feel right and I get tired too often, too many migraines.
For right now, I'm just going to get my vitamin D back up, drink all my water for the day. These seem like two little simple tasks, but for me right now it seems like all I can handle. I have changed some medication (anti depressant) that seems to have helped me stop thinking about food all the time. I'm not constantly hungry anymore and I'm more aware of what I put in my mouth (thanks to the food journals on the website). I'm still not great, but I'm making better choices. I have never taken medication like this before until last year.
I have my vision of what I want. I have made a little chart to color in the weight loss and it has all these pictures of what I want to look like or achieve. I get on this website everyday. I read the blogs..... but I'm just not getting it. I had about two to three days that it felt great. I had things planned out, it was like a light bulb went on. Now the light bulb is out and I can't get it back on.
I know I'm hard on myself and actually lately I've been better to myself. I know I have a lot of things going on right now. Work is extremely busy which I'm so grateful, money is tight, I get frustrated that I'm not spending enough time with my daughter, I'm constantly rescheduling my week around work, daughter, sitters and the final stress point is dealing with my divorce. Sorry about bringing this up, but it is a big factor right now and the final hearing is getting closer so I know that is one of my issues. I don't like confrontation, but I think this is going to get ugly....and I still have to deal with him with our daughter.....uuugggghhhh!
I know I'm a lot stronger now than I was this time last year and still stronger than I was at the beginning of the year. So I'm just going to slow down a little for now. The heat gets to me too much so my walk/jogs will wait until it cools off. For right now I'm just going to focus on those two items. I know everything will work out in time, I just need to slow my goals down a bit and tackle one mountain at a time for now.
I really enjoy reading everyone's status and blogs, it helps me keep going even if I'm just idling right now.
Sorry it seems like I'm just wandering with my writing...I am not a writer and I'm just putting down my thoughts.