Friday, August 17, 2012
I have spent a lot of time lately talking about what I want to accomplish. I have spent even more time thinking about it, and trying to picture the me of the future, the me that I want to be. What I haven't done is talk about why?
I really want to lose weight and achieve my fitness goals to prove to myself I can. To know that I am strong and capable would make me so proud. To finally be perceived as athletic is something I have wanted my whole life, after always watching my sister achieve more athletic things that me.
I also am tired of being held back by fear. I use my weight, and the way I assume people perceive me and my weight as an excuse to not do things, to not trust people, to not put myself out there. And I'm tired of that. However, years and years of practice make it hard for me to break down that wall. It's been a process trying to trust people and lose weight at the same time.
Finally, I really really want to have the confidence to try dating. This goes to my previous point, but it's one of the scariest things to me. And yet being in love is something that I desire above all other things.
So that's it for now. That's the why.