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    DESIDERATA~GIRL   23,361
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Why can't I stop eating! Why do I feel so guilty for trying to be healthy!

Friday, August 17, 2012

I don't know why but I've been eating loads these last few days!!! It's weird because I've only just hit my target weight of 140 lbs and have been trying to maintain my weight whilst thinking about losing some more but my eating habits have gone crazy! It doesn't help that I'm visiting relatives in Dorset and although it's lovely to be here and do fun active things like see various seaside towns, swimming in the sea and biking, I've been unable to control and dictate what I want to eat rather than be left to circumstances. I've been trying to do my best, said 'no' to various sugary / fatty foods like ice cream and chocolate, which is great. but on the flip side is that I am eating loads of typically healthy food but in big portions and more often.

Me and my Mum went biking around Portland today at the last minute and I didn't have much time to prepare food but made some healthy lunches for us (salad with some cheddar cheese, veggie bites that needed to be eaten, pears, apple, nuts and seeds, carrot, tea with soy milk in a flask), but when we came to stop and eat I was starving and ate more than my half. When I got home, stuffed my self with more healthy food and even though I was full, I needed a bowl of cereal! I'm following the clean eating diet and so normally eat 6 small meals a day with protein and complex carbs at each sitting but I've been insatiable these last few days.

Another thing that annoys me is that I've staying with my Mum and while I love being around her, she tends to make me feel bad for exercising and saying no to treats. If I say no, she feels bad for eating it and I end up feeling guilty! She's quite overweight but won't accept any help from me on losing weight. She will eat the same things as me and eat more nutritious food but also have extras like chocolate and fudge additionally. All I want is to just eat what I want, when I want and not feel guilty about it. I would love to just say I'm going to do some exercise now and not bad about it. Why does it have to be so contemplated!! I'm having laser eye surgery next week and been told to not exercise for 2 weeks so I need to keep my eating habits as clean as possible and within limit now so I don't gain extra weight later on.


I need to get some balance = I've been overthinking and worrying about how much I eat and what I'm eating. I'm trying my best but am struggling. I know that perfectionism is the quickest way to unhappiness but it's not easy to fully accept this when I expect so much from myself. I need to start meditating more, it should help me calm down I think!

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ROCKMAN6797 9/3/2012 8:26AM

    I have been struggling with the same issue of eating too much healthy food lately. It can be such a struggle at times but I try to take some solace that at the very least I am not eating crappy foods. I attribute this behavior to some recent stressful situations. While eating is not the way to deal with stress I am proud that I have not sunken back to eating unhealthy foods. It is, and will continue to be, a lifelong struggle.

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JONESINGAL 8/21/2012 8:54AM

    Sorry to hear your family is giving you grief over eating healthy. It makes the healthy journey so much harder when you have people around you that don't understand.

As for eating more than you should. I do the exact same thing! I make dishes that are clean, but then over indulge and end up eating too much. It is infuriating!

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 8/21/2012 8:43AM

    It's too bad that you mum makes you feel like that - but good for you for staying on track. I was just talking about this with a friend who said her cousin gets very competitive with her when it comes to weight issues ... and perhaps your mom feels like she's losing you through your 'healthy ways' but just keep at what you're doing. Don't allow guilt in...

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HAKAPES 8/19/2012 1:03PM

    Huh, I could have said the same words...

I also like to eat a lot, volume matters. Of course, over time the amount I eat has gone down, but still, I enjoy eating, and usually a small volume is difficult to go with.

As for people, if family doesn't support, it's a difficult one. I've noticed that because they love me and are close, they often package THEIR ideas into love, and expect me to behave the way they think is good for me. Which is not good for me, despite how much they love me.

What worked for me with close family was a sit down talk. I told them that eating the way I eat now, and exercise are very important to me. And I would like them to support me to do this. I explained them that when they tell me to eat more, and make jokes about exercise, it makes it very difficult for me to stay with my goals. So I would like them rather encourage me to eat less, and do exercise.
Also, I asked them to look for books, restaurants, new foods, new exercises that could support me.

For some, it worked, and they are supporting me. They even buy a bag of salad when I visit them.
Other still keep on holding me back. For them, I use other strategies to support myself. It's more difficult, because they are working against me, but still my life is my life.

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A-STRONGER-ME 8/18/2012 9:11AM

    No one should make you feel guilty for making wise choices and ONLY YOU can control how you think about that.

Never confuse "need" with "want." (i.e. need a bowl of cereal)

We all go through ebbs and tides with eating. If you are continuing to maintain your weight - you are obviously fueling properly for what your body needs.

I think you may just be obsessing about your loss of control on this visit. Probably not nearly as bad as you think. Are you tracking - they key may lie in accurate tracking.

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FITMOMMY18 8/18/2012 8:57AM

    Sometimes when we get to a goal we can let our guard down. And as for me, when I'm not in my usual surroundings, I can't keep it together... .but I have to learn to! Keep going, you are so close!!

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SHEILA1505 8/18/2012 5:49AM

    Well said Oolala53
Maybe the sea air and the biking have given you an appetite? Stay with the clean eating and enjoy the change of scenery.
You cannot control your mother's behaviour, habits and feelings - you can control your own. Good luck! Wishing you strength.

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KKLENNERT809 8/17/2012 10:47PM

    Tomorrow's a new day--start fresh! Don't beat yourself up when now it's in the past. Make your goal to live a healthy, active weekend.

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SUGARSMOM2 8/17/2012 8:02PM

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OOLALA53 8/17/2012 7:12PM

    It's not weird that you're eating more. It's actually typical at your stage, but it is manageable. However, being with your mum and in different environments while you try to practice better eating is new, so it will take new efforts.

Why do you think you are allowing yourself to have larger amounts? Do you secretly think you are missing out? Have you actually not been getting enough to eat? You know, it's unlikely you will be able to eat much more than you have been if you want to maintain forever. Is this some rebellion against that notion? You'll have to examine if it's worth it without giving up and regaining everything.

You also have to try to get over the guilt with your mum. She cannot actually make you feel guilty. You can let her know that you love her and feel connected to her without the extra eating and that you don't want to curtail her pleasure. If she feels bad because she's eating when you aren't, you have to let her have her feelings. She could just as easily decide that she wants to enjoy the food whether you want any or not. She has a right to eat if she wants and you have a right to refrain. You don't even HAVE to approve of each other and you can still love each other.

After strict dieting, when you trip the wire of more food or stressful situatiosn, it can be a signal to eat more. But you don't have to do what the urges say. Divert yourself and ignore them as well as you can. They will recede if you keep doing that. And it won't harm you at all.

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