Friday, August 17, 2012
So last night, I ate a King Size Snickers bar.
Actually, it was bigger than a King Size Snickers bar because instead of two bars inside it there were three -- and each bar was a whopping 572 calories! I'd eaten one and was halfway through the second before this dramatic wave of remorse and guilt flooded over me. What the h#ll was I doing? Now I'd screwed up Sunday's weigh-in for sure! I started running the numbers in my head, doing the math to try and figure out how I could counteract this 850+ calorie mistake. I was panicked and sick inside and I felt such incredible despair...
...and then the phone rang, and I woke up.
It had all been some freaky weight loss dream! Once I realized it wasn't real, that I hadn't just eaten some comically ginormous candy bar from hell, I was so relieved -- and then I promptly felt bad about feeling such a huge sense of relief. Am I focusing too much on weight loss and subconsciously stressing myself out about it? I mean, I haven't felt stressed, but I have felt very...focused. Determined. Goal-oriented. Those are all good things, aren't they?
Also, I'm kind of weirded out by the fact that my taboo, binge-in-dreams-only food was a candy bar. I don't even *like* chocolate! It would've made sense if it were pizza or a bagel or something like that, but sweets? Not my thing at all. Of course, I actually *have* eaten pizza and bagels recently, in moderation, so maybe my id just isn't craving them...
Who knows? I know it's just a dream, I shouldn't let it worry me, right?