Friday, August 17, 2012
I know I have been focusing on nothing but the drama and attacks that have been focused on my friend and I in our home school group, but we are hopeful that the drama is over and done with now that this person has left and taken her followers with her (who she also got to join her cause).
I hate putting so much energy, time, and devotion into something for the benefit of our children and see the drama and negative energy from one person blow it all up and destroy it. My friend is devastated and overwhelmed, but although I am very upset, I see beyond the carnage and realize that we have to pick ourselves up and journey on.
She is not used to this type of extreme and person attacks, but I suppose my crazy and abusive childhood has conditioned me to dodge the bullets and still survive despite being mentally and emotionally attacked.
I'm having to be strong for her so that our group doesn't just dissolve and although I don't feel I have the energy at this point (due to lack of sleep, loss of appetite, etc.) I know I have to push us both on.
I thankfully was able to eat normally yesterday although it was still a struggle, but not quite as bad as it has been for a few days. I need to get my energy level up to normal so I know that is important.
Today I am going to finally concentrate on getting groceries for my family as I have been barely able to take care of household chores, schooling and checking school work, get things ready for a fast-approaching church consignment sale, deal with numerous phone calls (most of them attacks) and emails, review new curriculum I have purchased, etc.
I am frankly overwhelmed and exhausted at this point, but I do NOT want to focus on the drama and attacks upon us and instead want to look at the positive future we have.
We are better off now that the person who caused our group to split is gone and took her friends with her. It is a huge relief and although I know I will run into them often since we are all home schoolers and we live near each other, I can live with that.
It won't stop me from going to places that I know I could possibly run into them because I have to be fair to my children and to myself and they have to do the same.
I will work on my coupons so that I can save money on my grocery bill (they are cut out but not filed due to lack of concentration or time) and will continue to do the things that I normally did now that the drama is hopefully gone.