Thursday, August 16, 2012
That's nearly FIVE THOUSAND CALORIES TODAY. This was not even a big binging day I just felt like tracking to really see how I was doing without paying close attention to the program. Well I'm doing crappy. That's well over twice what a grown man needs to eat in a day. I'm ashamed. and I keep thinking today was not even as bad as I have been doing lately. I'm furious. I feel so guilty and yet I know the steps I need to take to protect myself and I just WON'T TAKE THEM. I freaking hate tracking with a fiery passion. I feel like no counts are going to be exact and can be wildly skewed so what is the point of even wasting my time. well clearly I'm not as good at guestimating my range as I thought I was. I feel defeated and hopeless. I need to be held accountable for this, it's ridiculous. My mother told me today that I should be much heavier with as much food as I eat. She's right. I should, but somedays I try harder than others. I'm eventually going to be right back at huge if I can't get a freaking grip. I'm drowning.