Thursday, August 16, 2012
Back to rehab. Son wanted to go he said but he was on stronger drugs this time and it was harder. He stayed inpatient for a week then came home. /wow what a mess. He was angry, moody, outbursts, you name it. Of course husband thought he could fix everything so no rules no guidelines. We all were in therapy and son got really involved, never missed a meeting. He took it seriously this time. But my household was a mess, everything revolved around the son what he was doing, when he was doing it, how it was getting done. The therapist said guidelines needed to be set and adhered to but my husband was afraid he would push son back into drugs. Therapist tried explaining that any thing son decided to do he did because of a decision he made not any thing we did. I felt so overwhelmed. I couldn't make myself go to the gym, I ate what I wanted, I couldn't sleep. Everyday was a battle of some sort. Son got into physical fitness, this meant a gym membership, this meant clothing and shoes. It meant protein powder and vitamins and minerals. And of course he wasn't working so we continued to carry the financial burden. His room was a mess, he wouldn't pick up after himself, his bathroom was a mess. Wet towels and dirty clothes were everywhere in his part of the house. His room smelled.
No fun at all. My grocery bill and water bill were out of sight. He ate so much protein I couldn't keep my freezer stocked. Eggs, he would eat 5/6 dozen of eggs a week. He cooked day and night. Smells would wake me up at night, he had decided to fry bacon or bake chicken. I would go to bed with a clean kitchen and get up to a sink full of dishes, the ones that is that weren't left in his room, a dirty counter and floor. The only arguements my husband and I had ever had were over his son. This had gone on for 3 yrs, I was fighting a losing battle over what the son did and didn't do. I now weighed more then I ever had even being 9 months pregnant with my children. I decided to see a local doctor that one of my coworkers had seen for HCG injections. It was hard, 500 cal a day, very limited in what you could or couldn't eat, but I lost 23 lbs in 28 days. O my gosh was I excited. This time I was going to keep it off no matter what and I did till this last May. I broke my foot last July and had no weight bearing for 6 wks but I never gained a lb.I went on a wk long cruise, no weight gain. I went through Christmas, no weight gain. Went on a second cruise, no weight gain. Wow I had this weight thing whipped. I wasn't skinny by any means but I was at a weight I could live with and it didn't seem to be taking much effort on my part to stay there. Son had gotten a job, and was making nice money, he bought a house, he was moving out.YEA. Every thing was looking up, I tore my rotater cuff. Surgery and 6 wks at home with limited exercise but I didn't gain weight till the last wk I was home, but I went up 6lbs like over night. O no how could this happen. Son moved out my home was my own, I bought a treadmill and put it in his bedroom. This 6 lbs was going one way or the other. I joined Sparkpeople, I counted calories, I exercised, I went on a two wk vacation and gained 2 more lbs. Now I am up 8lb. I am now up to today and as of this morning I have gained 9lbs of the 23 I had lost. The end of the story tomorrow.