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AHA Moment

Thursday, August 16, 2012

As I read an entry on the Daily Spark this morning, I realized that I could have written most of it myself. I'm posting this here so I don't make her blog about me, but she made me think. I, too, thought that if you had reasons for being overweight, it meant you were abused. I was fortunate to have had a wonderful family growing up who always believed in me. But I gained some weight when my mother passed away when I was 24 (not a lot of weight) and then a (I thought very good) friend dropped me because she didn't like being around overweight people! She actually said that! I think that her comment, 28 years ago, made me feel like I wasn't worth it. And at the time, I probably had 30 pounds, not 100 to lose! I realized a few years ago that I had let her have incredible power over me so I no longer care what she thinks. I'm sure she doesn't give me a thought. But it has been hard to repair the damage that she caused. I am worth it and, not to judge (okay, I guess I am judging) I am not the sort of shallow person who could hurt someone else that way. But every day that I make bad food choices and don't exercise (more days than not) it reinforces those feelings. Every day I mean to journal, not just food, and I think it would be helpful to see what I do have, what I am good at, why my family and friends love me. I've heard many times that you wouldn't think those things about someone else, why would you think them about yourself. I guess I have a lot of work to do. I so appreciate everyone out there who motivates and inspire. Thank you!
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    My heart goes pout to you. I just read a blog of yours for the first time. You had writtren a blog ttitled disappointed. This old friend of yours said cruel words, and I can't imagine what it must had been like to lose a friend based on soly how you looked. I used to get teased and treated badly becuase I am black/German one year while I was in elementry school. Although I knew they werew wrong to treat me that way, and I realized these people were not people I would want to be friends with anyway, it still hurt. Although that was over 25 years ago, I can still remembwe that year well. I was fortunate that my family moved and I never got teased based on how I looked again. My mom, seeing her daughter sobing after she came home from school many times tour her up, I know this now. I know my mom said a lot of prayers for me though, and it was God who changeds things for me. It is easy to remember the sad times the bad times in your life and let words or expereinces which happened 20 30 years ago come into our memory and hurt us as though it happened just yesterday. We all struggle with it, yet no one really talks about it.

    I do not think that you were ever abused. However, there is a possiblity that you have at times allowed past emotional scars which have not been healed to defeat your postive feelings about yourself- to the point itmay have led you to your current atitude about yourself. You may have a preety good self esteem, but it is easy to allow yourself to think the wrost about yourself, even though you know deep down the things you think and say about yourself are wrong.

    With God's help you can defeat these negative thoughts, and turn them around. Giod sees you and knows you like no one else sees you and knows you. He sees your heart, and knows your love and your goodness which is displayed in hiow you treat others.

    I believe in YOU! I have faith that you can meet your goals, and change your life. I have said some prayers for you as I started reading yoiur 2 blogs. Through Christ we can do all things! emoticon
    2023 days ago
    You are worth it.
    2038 days ago
    Thank you so much for your comments. I'm amazed how much better I felt just writing this blog this morning!
    2038 days ago
    Good for you. Take one day at a time. Start exercising with 10 minutes a day and work up. You can feel success in ten minutes.. emoticon Start with one thing- exercise and then after awhile work with food. Get junk food out of house. do this for you!! You deserve it. emoticon emoticon
    2039 days ago
    Sometimes we forget how those old feelings, caused by something said or done many years ago, have set us up for failure.
    I'm happy that you have turned that corner and now are able to focus on what you need to do to become the person you truly are! The mind is very powerful, you know. It's okay to love yourself and put yourself first. I'm still working on that one myself.

    Good luck! emoticon
    2039 days ago
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