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    YATMAMA   93,635
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Paraprosdokians

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.


27. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRINCESS1309 12/6/2012 5:34PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BEESPARKLE 9/12/2012 4:26PM

    emoticon

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 9/2/2012 3:21AM

    emoticon as always!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 8/25/2012 11:57PM

    emoticon Thank you for sharing these, Missy!!!
Hope you are enjoying your summer!!! Love and miss you, my friend!!!
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1GROVES2 8/24/2012 1:32PM

    I love these! thanks for sharing. i plan to share these with my friends

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ROZEEROZ1 8/24/2012 12:13AM

    Missy - I like these. emoticon

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M77355 8/16/2012 8:53AM

    Thank you... I've spread these smiles to other people, too!

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ANGELCOWBOY1 8/15/2012 10:22PM

    Thanks for sharing these! Great!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 8/15/2012 9:43PM

    emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 8/15/2012 9:43PM

    Good blog, Missy! emoticon

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BABY_GIRL69 8/15/2012 9:18PM

    Nice & thanks for sharing!

God bless,

Dee

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SADIEDOLORES 8/15/2012 8:07PM

    Interesting AND CUTE, THANK YOU FOR SHARING. emoticon

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GINGER_BEAR 8/15/2012 7:50PM

    I love these!! emoticon

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SLS-NY2IN 8/15/2012 7:37PM

    Loved these "truism's" emoticon emoticon Sherry Are you ever going to play Double Words again? emoticon

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