Happy New Day!!! Happy Tasting Tuesday!!! & Happy Day 3 of Renewing Our Pledge To Love Ourselves & Our Bodies!!!
On Mondays I have to remind myself to eat and not go into my old mind-set of Starvation-Diet Monday.
Tuesdays I have to remind myself to TASTE MY FOOD & MY LIFE, because the more I taste my food when I eat it, and allow myself to enjoy it, the less food I need to eat.
Likewise, the more I taste my life the more I am present in the moment and appreciate what I have, and the more I meet my emotional needs with something other than food.
I talk about tasting my food on TASTING TUESDAYS, let me explain what it means to me.
For years, before I ate something I was always worried about all of the following: How fattening is it?; How much weight will it make me gain?; I will be 500 pounds if I eat this; If I eat this will I be able to stop eating?; I will be BAD, LAZY, UNDISCIPLINNED, WITHOUT WILLPOWER, & OUT-OF-CONTROL IF I EAT THIS; and If I eat this, I can only have half, but if I eat all of it, then I cannot eat the rest of the day.
These were some of the things that ran through my mind before I even took the first bite and tasted the particular food I was considering eating. I did not even know if it tasted good yet, was it fresh, was it hot, was it cold, and I had already begun obsessing about how much of it I was going to eat, and how I should not be eating it. I did this with every food, my favorites, ones that I did not like that much, but which I considered “bad or off-limits foods”, so I seemed to want them even more, although I did not like them all that much, and I did it with new foods, which I had never even tasted.
I created so much angst about eating something before I took the first bite, that I could barely taste it, I was not using my sense of taste to tune into the food and to experience the taste, to determine if it was fresh, if I liked it, if today, my body really wanted to continue being fed this type of food. I did not take the time to see if it felt too filling, lite, energizing, or as if it was making me feel lethargic. I was so busy obsessing about how much of the food would be enough and how much would be too much, that I was not really tasting it, it was more like I was shoveling it in.
Just writing this makes it clear, that I DID NOT STAND A CHANCE OF TASTING MY FOOD AND REACHING MY NATURAL FULL OR ALMOST FULL POINT, BECAUSE THERE WAS A COMMITTEE IN MY HEAD THAT WAS MAKING SO MUCH NOISE , THAT IT TOOK ME AS FAR AWAY FROM TASTING AND ENJOYING MY FOOD AND STAYING CONNECTED TO MY FOOD & BODY, AS IT POSSIBY COULD. It was only when I started to consider that maybe, just maybe THIS COMMITTEE IN MY HEAD WAS HURTING ME AND NOT HELPING ME, that I decided it was time for this committee to work towards a vow of silence, or more succinctly, to SHUT-UP, so I could actually stay connected to the tasting of my food, to determining if my body was feeling full as I was eating, if I ACTUALLY LIKED THE VERY FOOD I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT OVEREATING, and if my body felt the food was too rich at the moment, or just right. AND THE MOST INCREDIBLLY AMAZING THING HAPPENED, I ACTUALLY BECAME A PICKIER EATER.
I realized I did not like everything, and given the opportunity I wanted to make a choice to eat less of something that satisfied me, as opposed to more of something that left me unsatisfied and eventually bingeing.
To me, a girl/woman, whom had spent my life either starving or stuffing, it was nothing short of miraculous to start allowing myself to trust that I could allow myself to eat all foods and stay connected to my body in a way that would allow me to taste the food, and determine my true physical full points. I would be lying if I said it happened overnight, especially, because as much as I wanted to believe this was a viable way to eat, and possibly the answer to my years of being at war with my body, I WAS SOOOOO SCARED AND THIS WENT AGAINST EVERYTHING I HAD EVER BEEN TAUGHT ABOUT DIETING AND EATING.
I would follow this method of really tasting my food without the committee in my head, and then after a few days ,and I would even feel myself losing weight, but then all of a sudden the committee was back, screaming louder than usual. It especially, came back after I spent time with people who talked obsessively about food, diets, losing weight and the size of their bodies. I knew this method worked for me, and I still do, but I was taking it away from myself. Who was I to believe I could trust myself, and my body to taste food, and listen to my body’s true physical hunger and full cues (as opposed to emotional hunger cues).
However, I stuck with it, because I had already spent 29 years with choices about food, dieting, body size and weight that brought me on a journey from a size 2 through a size 26, and I never found myself feeling thin enough, even at the size 2. I kept evicting that committee from my head, and before I knew it the committee was gone for weeks at a time, and I was truly tasting my food, food was just food, and I was eating when I was physically hungry and stopping when I was full.
Then eventually the committee would stay away for months at a time. Now the committee does not show up often, and if it does, it is evicted more quickly, because today I know I can TASTE MY FOOD AND MY LIFE AND STAY CONNECTED TO MYSELF, MY BODY AND MY LIFE. Some people call this INTUITIVE EATING , others call it DEMAND FEEDING, others call it FINDING YOUR STOMACH HUNGER AS OPPOSED TO MIND HUNGER, however, I call it TASTING MY FOOD & MY LIFE! Just for today, consider truly tasting your food without the committee in your head! You might be surprised that you could actually “eat just one” of something and be satisfied. Have a large sized day!!! Karen Cigna