..back to the here and now, yeahhh...OK, I'm a nerd who loves 90's R&B.
And yes, I have to post the link to the video because now the song is stuck in my head. Caron Wheeler has a sick voice.
OK, done with my ADD spaz out/digression.
I'm back to my "real" life, even though it's slightly different. Same guy as the last nine years but now he's my husband instead of my boyfriend. Same two teenagers but now they are my stepchildren instead of my "unofficial" stepchildren, and we all have the same last name, which will be nice once school starts because let me tell you, being the acting mother of a kid in high school and needing to talk to teachers because I'm the one who remembers details and stuff and having to jump through hoops and get papers signed because I was a domestic partner instead of a WIFE was a huge pain in the neck. Now I can just call and say, "This is Mrs. Watkins, I am calling about Ryan.." and BOOM! DONE!. Love that.
What I don't love is the weight I've regained since going off the deep end stress-eating before we eloped and then all the celebratory eating we did in Cape Cod, eating Lucky Charms for breakfast and acting like the food we put in our mouths had no consequences. Even Randy thinks he's gained weight and is concerned that his pants won't fit. It didn't help that he picked up this month's Men's Fitness with Arnold Schwartzenegger on the cover giving us lectures about eating out or eating fast food.
We both know we need to cook at home. We both get lazy. A lot of times it comes down to me, but Randy is easily talked into takeout. Both of us want to start this next leg of our adventure together with healthier habits.
The best thing about Randy is he's always super supportive of my health and fitness goals. The worst thing about Randy is if I go off the rails, it doesn't take a lot of arm twisting to get him off the rails too and we go on ice cream benders. This can't keep happening. He's a big enabler! However, I'm grateful he doesn't Food Cop me, because that would piss me off no end, either. My ex was a food cop and I wanted to smack him every time he said something like, "Are you sure you want to eat that?" OF COURSE I'M SURE, it's HALFWAY TO MY MOUTH, TOOL! Ugh, still have bitterness. Deep breath, let it go!! Let it go! So yeah, Randy doesn't Food Cop me, but he also doesn't help me stay on track if I'm insistent on getting some junk food.
So it's all up to me, DANG IT! So, because I know that my commitment to myself waxes and wanes, I'm here on SparkPeople hoping to absorb some of your mojo to get my mojo up and working.
These are the reasons I want to eat right and exercise and lose 100 pounds:
I will ward off diabetes and heart disease - I have three good reasons to stay healthy!
I will have a stronger back and hip (being out with a bad back sucks!)
I will live longer and have a higher quality of life
I will feel better, physically AND mentally
My skin will look better with all that water and freggies
I will be SO PROUD of myself for finally overcoming my lifetime battle with weight/my body
I will be an ATHLETE
Randy would be able to pick me up without needing hospitalization
I would have a stronger self-esteem - from the accomplishment yes, but also for all the
shallow reasons -- who doesn't want to be hotter at 44 than she was at 24?
I will feel more feminine
I will be proud of my body
I will be so relieved to stop the food behaviors that cause me so much pain
I will stop hanging up on people with my jowls
I could be Arm Candy!
The boys would be proud of me
I will be a good example to my family
I will have more energy and better sleep
I will be able to wear high heels without fearing I am going to poke holes in the sidewalk
I would be able to wear those cute clothes that they don't make for plus sizes
I would feel like I was the person I am meant to be -- I am meant to be strong and healthy!
Each positive choice I make today will take me to where I want to be. Each time I turn away from food items that do not serve me, I will get stronger and stronger and stronger each time they are offered to me. Every time I choose to move instead of choosing not to move, I am inching my way slowly towards Onederland and beyond.
Every little thing I do matters. I don't have to be perfect, but if I make positive choices with my goals in mind 80% of the time, that's HUGE. At this point I'd be happy making positive choices 50% of the time! So I'm gonna start there and work my way up to 80%.
I'm glad to be back, but wish I could spend more time soaking up the salty air and sunshine and maybe if I had a do-over I could spend more time walk/jogging by the ocean instead of flopped in the sand with trashy novels. Maybe in one year I'll have changed my lifestyle so much that running along the beach will be a big part of my Cape Cod trip! Let's hope so, until then it's one day at a time, starting with this day.
Can't wait to read all your blogs and catch up with you.
OH! And here's a few wedding pictures for ha-has:
Standing on the Falls Bridge at Lovers Leap State Park
Randy reads his vows to me
"You may kiss the bride"
Mr. and Mrs. Watkins with our amazing officiant, Stephanie
I know it's a cliche, but it truly was one of the happiest days of my life.