Being Authentic

Monday, August 13, 2012

It's amazing the little lies we tell each other and ourselves. I'm not talking about shocking, devastating lies that could hurt someone. I'm talking about those little lies that pile up when we refuse to just be honest to save face, not make ourselves uncomfortable, or just because we're so used to saying them.

It can be something as simple as saying you are fine or that your day is great when someone asks how you are doing when in fact you are not fine. I'm the type of person who hasn't quite got the concept of complete honesty. I always admire the people who can just tell something like it is without having to apologize for it. The type of person who will tell you they are having a horrible day instead of just saying, " I'm okay."

It's time to get real. We all have two sides to ourselves- our public persona and the person we go home to. We are at peace when we are around the people that allow us to melt the two into one. Unfortunately, these people are VERY hard to find. This is why we're often not as authentic as we'd like to be.

What steps do you take to have a good support system around you that allow you to be the most authentic version of you?
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    I find that my closest and best friends are the ones that come with an instant connection. You know it when it happens. This is authentic. I have a hard time when I have to "work at" a friendship (and I usually don't).

    On the other side ... when I ask a co-worker or acquaintance how they are doing, I usually don't care ... just making conversation. Sometimes, I even tell them that an "OK" would have been fine. emoticon I think as you get older, you become more honest OR it just comes out that way. LOL!

    Although I only have a few of them, I sincerely care about my "true" friends. We can be really honest with each other. That's all that matters.
    1828 days ago
    This is a constant struggle for me, not going to lie. I can't stand fakeness and I exhaust myself quickly from trying to keep my "true" self under control. I think as we get older, we decide to surround ourselves more with people that respect and care for the real you versus people who you have to change to be around. In the past year, I have cut some ties with friends who always felt like a drag because I was spending so much effort faking it. I feel like I'm in a much better place now and that the friendships I have retained are a much better quality for it. Quality over quantity does work!

    Also, at work - I kind of don't have a choice. I have to hold some of my true self back (random dance parties in my cube at a financial firm? Probably not the best idea) but I have worked on not compromising some of myself where I can. Belittling coworker? Stand up for myself. Lying gossiper coworker? Distance myself. Opportunity to make people happier or feel better about themselves? Be kind and supportive - which is who I really am.

    Once I started taking these steps to be more "authentic" - I became a lot happier in both my work and professional life. I really hope you take the time to explore where you can do it in your own life because it is such a great thing! Good luck!
    1828 days ago
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