Monday, August 13, 2012
I have been struggling a lot lately. We suffered a devastating loss recently. My niece lost her baby ON her Due Date!! The baby's heart beat just stopped. They had to induce my niece and her beautiful perfect baby girl was still born. She weighed 7 lbs 3 oz and was 20 inches long with lots of curly hair and not a single breath. It has been heartbreaking. I'm still reeling from it and trying to figure out how to console my niece, who's world has literally just fallen apart, is difficult (of course my feeling of helplessness is miniscule compared to what she is feeling!) In the same 2.5 weeks my grandfather has been hospitalized twice, my mother experienced her 2nd TIA (mini stroke - she is OK though! Thankfully!) and another niece (sister to the one who gave birth to an Angel) had 3 friends brutally murdered in a shooting at their work place! It's been crazier than usual to say the least.
I'm struggling with so many emotions but for the first time in my life my emotions are not controlling my eating! I have not had one EE Fest! I have stayed Clean and today I am even starting a No Excuse Challenge for 12 weeks to really tighten up my clean eating and exercising!!! Up at 5:30 this morning doing body weight exercises. Tonight I WILL run 3 miles. My 1/2 is coming up in just 4 short weeks (Yikes!).
So while I haven't been Sparking much lately I have not given up or given in. I'm stronger than I ever imagined. I am going to rock this Challenge! I even bought a bikini to take "before" pics in and it is hanging right on my mirror in my room to motivate me. I haven't worn a bikini in 30 year!!! But I'm going to wear one in 12 weeks when this Challenge is over!!
I hope you are staying strong in whatever challenges and life situations you are facing. There is no problem in this world that eating will cure except starvation! And even then Clean Eating is where it's at! You might not starve eating a Twinkie but you sure won't live a long healthy life. Fuel your body, starve your emotions. Be strong - even when your world tries to break you. You are in charge. Love and thanks for letting me express myself and my feelings here.