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    SYDNEYMELYN   10,357
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Awful Update

Monday, August 13, 2012

Today I weigh 174. My biggest weight ever.
I've gained 21.8 lbs in 4 months!
Now let me give you my excuse...

My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. We thought she was gonna be fine. Especially when all of her cancer cleared up. WEll, we were wrong. The chemo allowed her COPD to win her life over. She was in and out of the hospital for months before she died on July 1. Most of my weight gain has happened since her death. We were extremely close.
That being said, she would be so disappointed to know that i am at my heaviest ever. She was always so proud of my losing weight.

So now I am back yet again. Giving this weight loss thing a millionth try. My goal is to be 150 by September 22 (my cousin's wedding. I'm the maid of honor). SO every day is going to be hard work. It's so sad that I've let myself get up to this point. And honestly, I'm not motivated yet. I am just sad about where I am.

I will never be this heavy again. Period.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAKAROO 8/15/2012 6:04AM

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KBROWN-VE 8/13/2012 4:07PM

    I can relate, last year my Grandma went in for Knee surgery and caught an infection, she never came out of the hospital and past away. It was sad for me also she was one of the strongest women i know. I've gained alot of weight since last year, lost my motivation and now i'm close to 300 lbs, somewhere i swore i would never be, I am tired of feeling this way and not wanting to do anything it affects every aspect of my life. You just have to let go of your disappointment in yourself and pick yourself up and work towards your goal. Hopefully you can get excited about life and exercise again, your Grandma wouldn't want you to waste another minute of your life not feeling good about yourself.... I hope you find your motivation, you can do it! emoticon

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