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and on the brighter side...

Monday, August 13, 2012

That last dismal blog entry deserves a followup with the good side of stuff.

The background... I got here, found out how hard it was to get around, the temperatures climbed, Walmart's only a little over a mile away. Yup, I went off the sugar deep end, ate everything in sight, and everything that goes along with it. I also developed the habit of sitting in the library and eating sugar all day. At that point, its a good thing I didn't own a scale. My weight had climbed back up to about 210 by the time I left Seattle. I would rather not think about what it probably got up to once I got here. I bought shorts at Walmart - 18W. Not the largest size I've ever worn, but certainly a size I'd thought I'd never wear again. Also, I've retained enough muscle mass that I was probably heavier wearing an 18W than I was when I wore a 22W. Blech!

I finally figured out that none of that was going to make anything better. I also finally figured out that the only way I was going to get any exercise with the 100+ degree temps was to get up in the morning and go walk before it got too hot. There were days when I had to get up at 6 to get out and back before it hit 90. Lately its been better and I can go out as late as 9 or so. Yesterday it was about 9 and it was still in the 70s. The humidity was reasonably low for once, making it the easiest walk I've had in months.

Along with getting more exercise, I started measuring my food. It was no wonder I was hungry and eating for 5 later in the day, as I wasn't eating as much breakfast as I thought I was. Of course, some of it was that I'm miserable here, but I'm finding other ways to deal with that. I don't know whether its like this for others, but when I'm measuring and counting its much easier to keep a handle on the emotional eating. If I don't want to have to track it, I won't eat it. It doesn't make me happier, but at least it makes me look for other outlets.

So, no scale yet so I don't know how I'm doing that way. I can say that things fit better. I had to buy new shorts. I shredded the old ones - I know that many of us are familiar with how everything wears out at the inner thighs when you're heavy. The new shorts are size 16 (no W) They're still a bit snug, but they fit better today than they did when I bought them. My other sign is that I have a waist belt with a water bottle and a couple of small pockets (keys, phone) that I wear when I walk. The belt is let out to its longest length, but it was tight when I got back to walking and now its not. It'll be a banner day when I have to start cinching it in again.

I still wear the old shorts to walk. I can't fit into any of my workout gear yet, so I wear my old shorts with a pair of spandex shorts (way too form fitting to wear without something over them, but long enough to prevent chafing) under them. I'd say that eventually I'll do that with the newer pair, but by then I'll be able to wear my workout gear.

I will freely admit that I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I expect that to continue for a while, but at least now I can tell myself that its getting better and eventually I'll be back to where I don't hate what I see.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I hear you--when I'm tracking things, I am so much more likely to NOT eat the stuff that is going to derail me. Glad to hear you're making some progress again in spite of the tough situation. I hope your living situation improves SOON!
    2046 days ago
    it's the small things that count! I definitely feel like measuring/tracking my food helps me to be more responsible. And the belt thing--I love going another notch on my belt. Keep those positive things in front of you--your dedication to walking before it gets hot is awesome. I know the heat/humidity of the east coast--it's debilitating sometimes!
    2046 days ago
    Welcome back to the healthy lifestyle. Don't beat yourself up just get back on the journey. I too had the same problem and was absent from spark for several months and just returned this month. I have learned that our journeys are very forgiving and when we fall astray like the prodigal son our journeys anxiously await with open arms ready to welcome us home. It sounds like you have a handle on things now so keep up the good work and keep in touch and let me know how you are doing

    2047 days ago
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