Well SparkBuddies, I am officially in a rut. Not because I've given up. Not because I've been eating poorly. Not because of anxiety or a busy life.

No.

It is because I broke my butt.

Okay not actually. It's not broken. But it does hurt like a son of a beesting and I can't walk on my right leg at all. I'm crutchin' my way around these days.

Here's how it went down. Last Wednesday I did a kettlebell CrossFit WOD at my own gym. It was enjoyable. Nothing pulled or popped. I was tired and sweaty but not in pain. Done deal. Thursday I woke up and my right hip felt kind of sore but I had my period and sometimes my hips ache when I have my period. So I figured it was nothing. I went to work and as the day went on, it got stiffer and stiffer until I was limping. By the end of the night, it wouldn't hold my weight.

Friday morning I woke up and decided to skip the gym while Awesome Husband went along without me. I got out of bed and realized that my pain level had increased approximately a MILLION fold. I made my way to the bathroom and back to bed where I collapsed in tears and asked Awesome Husband to call in sick to work because I couldn't move. He came back with 800mg of Ibuprofen which I took and then decided I didn't need to call my doctor because I was healed. I never claimed to be intelligent.

By Friday night, I couldn't walk on my own. Awesome Husband had to carry me to the bathroom and to the car. I asked him to take me to the ER. After four hours in the ER being poked and prodded and X-Rayed, the Physicians Assistant said I sprained my sacroiliac joint and sent me home with crutches.

The next morning was the worst pain I've ever experienced, and I've had kidney stones! I got up to pee and then spent 15 minutes just sitting in the bathroom while everything sparkled in shades of blue. I've never come so close to passing out from pain. Awesome Husband went to the pharmacy and got my RX for Percocet which I promptly took and went to sleep.

I was a basketcase by this point. A very good friend, my best friend even, just suffered a crippling personal tragedy. The memorial service was on Saturday. I couldn't go. I was heartbroken.

On top of that, I've never been injured before. I've never been afraid to use my own body. I've never had to ask someone else for help putting on my own underwear. I do not like feeling so terrified and vulnerable.

Let us fast forward. I went to see my primary care who gave me more percocet and made me an appointment with a rheumatologist. I started scaling back on taking the percocet in favor of more ice and ibuprofen. Don't get me wrong, the percocet works better than anything else. But I have to be able to function. Also poop. Because guys, it is constipation city over here thanks to the percocet.

The rheumatologist did all sorts of unspeakable and painful things to me. She had me stand and poked around my hip and butt. She had my bend forward and do the same. She had me lay down and bend my knee, opening and closing my hip. I was shaking by this point. Then she had me lay on my side (rolling onto my side is not a thing I can do right now) and poked some more. She decides that I do not have a sprain in the joint. I have gluteal tendinitis and maybe a little bursitis. Hold on. I have tendinitis in my butt? That's a thing that can happen??? Yes. It can apparently. And lemme tell you. IT IS THE WORST. The doc suggested it was from overuse and that my recent addition of running to my regular fitness schedule is probably what pushed things over the edge. She said when I'm back up to snuff I'll have to be careful with it at the gym. Which means my beloved 135-150lb squats, 150lb deadlifts, etc have to go on hold. And I may be susceptible to this injury for the rest of my life.

For the first few days, I felt better exponentially. For the last few, I've been miserable. In constant pain and feeling depressed and anxious. I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm so ready for this to be over. I want to get back to my fit life.

But in slightly more amusing news, I heard a report on NPR about kinesiotape and how the Olympians have all been wearing it and using it. So I got myself a box and my bum has two stripes now. No word yet on whether or not it works but I'm willing to try anything at this point.