Sunday, August 12, 2012
Today when I arrived at church, one of the women gave me a gift - it is a mug. It is not my birthday, nor had I done anything special to earn it. The woman gave it to me because she knew that the place pictured on the mug was a place where my mother and father had spent a number of years and that it was a VERY SPECIAL place at one time to both of them.
The timing of the gift was especially meaningful as when my father left that place, it was with great bitterness, hurt and unkindness done to him. I have been holding on to both my own hurt and his hurt and bitterness for a long time. This was made especially hard since my mother's ashes were scattered at a sacred spot on the property designated Prayer Hill. My father scattered the ashes in the place that meant so much to both he and my mother in 2001. In 2004, my father retired and remarried and left that place. There was a lot of bitterness and hurt as I say when he left. My father, sisters, nephews, son, stepmother nor I had been back since 2004.
This weekend, the retreat that my stepmother and I attended was held at that site. While I was there, I felt surrounded by memories and the presence of my parents (both of them). My stepmother and I both were able to let go some of the bitterness and pain and to allow healing to enter our hearts. The training and readings that I have been doing for the past several weeks had opened a window into my heart and made it possible for me to allow myself to receive the blessings that were mine for the taking.
The friend at church did not even KNOW that we had gone to the place pictured on the mug, she was not even consciously aware of how angry, bitter and hurt I was. If she had given the mug to me a few weeks ago, I would have been gracious and thanked her but would not have treasured it in the same way I do now. This tiny, unexpected gift was the perfect blessing at a time when my heart was open to it.