Sunday, August 12, 2012
The increased energy level and the improved self-confidence are the two things I miss the most from being at a healthier weight. I've been on a bit of a roller coaster ride in my weight loss efforts. About 3 years ago I was down to about 212, I'm currently around 250 ish. For my height, 6', 212 is that line between obese and overweight. And I loved being there.
My husband came home from deployment and it took us forever to find each other at the welcome home ceremony. I couldn't find him because he was in a sea of uniforms and he's average height and average build and he and about 1/2 of the guys had their hair cut the same way. But he couldn't find me either. I had even sent him pictures of what I would be wearing about a month before he came home. When he did find me, he said "I didn't think that was you because you look so good." It was a really, really awesome moment for so many reasons.
When I think about that day, it just kills me that I let the weight come back. I gave into the stress of the period that they call "reintegration". They said it takes about 15 months to get everything balanced back out and really fall into a sense of normal after a major life event. Before that reintegration period was even over, he got out of the active duty army and we moved across country back home, moving in with family finding new jobs and new careers. Then we moved again 6 months later into our own home that we've been slowly remodeling.
I gave into the stress of all the life changes, I went back to my old ways. I started turning to food for comfort. I stopped working out. I became selfishly stuck in this self pity party about how tough everything was, which just feed my downward spiral of gaining 50 lbs.
This time, I have got to manage my reaction to life's stresses better. I've got to reach that point again and exceed that point where my husband says "you look so good".
I feel like I need to wow him again, because he's always been so good to me. He's been amazingly good to me. I never have any reason to doubt his love for me and he always makes me feel loved. He takes care of himself and works so hard at work and on the house to provide for our every need and want. (Don't get me wrong, we do fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but we always make up.) Because of all he is to me, I really feel like he deserves a wife who is just as good to him. And I'm going to be that.