Sunday, August 12, 2012
Im tapping this blog out on my phone so please forgive any format issues or typos. Im on midnight shift right now and sometimes my mind drifts.
I feel like my journey is entering a new phase. The whole theme of my journey seems to be centered around YOU CAN and taking baby steps on a path of self discovery. A path where I am learning that the only limits I have are the ones I allow myself to be fettered with. I look back and reflect on my past and I can plainly see a long process where my self confidence and self image died a slow and painful death. When you become morbidly obese, the walls of your world close in slowly until your comfort zone becomes a straitjacket.
I never viewed any challenge as an opportunity for growth, it was always viewed as yet another opening for all the world to see my ineptness and to suffer embarassment.That is one of the things that makes morbid obesity such a killer. We all know about the health side of it but obesity is a destroyer of the soul. This is so much more than shedding the pounds, it is about reclaiming the life.
This is where I feel running and endurance sports has brought so much healing in my life. It is far more than a reduntant process to be endured for the sake of burning a few extra calories in the same sense that one endures the side effects of some medication for the sake of getting well. Once the desired effect is obtained, the routine ends.
Before, I used to just imagine what it would be like to have self confidence and passion, now I am living the dream everyday.
Yes Robert, you can.
I no longer need the permission or the approval of others to finally live my life.Each time I honor a commitment to myself to exercise when I dont feel like it, or work through a problem and see it through, something inside grows stronger.When you climb the smaller mountains, the bigger ones don't seem so intimidating. It takes the same skills. After a while, one rock looks much like another except there are just more of them piled up... I just have to climb a little longer that's all.
One thing I have learned on my journey is that consistant effort is never unrewarded.My dreams are not so far fetched anymore. No bravado, just a deep settled confidence that tells me to keep climbing.
There is Iron at the top.