Anger vs. Love: Discovering Your Motivation
Throughout my life and during weight loss, I’ve had the occasions (although fewer and fewer as my self-discovery journey unfolded), where I would binge, eating everything in sight, craving “junk” and not stopping at 10 chips, if you know what I mean. I was like a bulimic, but without the vomiting. I stuffed and stuffed, wishing that I could eat more. After these episodes I would get angry with myself. Throughout my weight loss journey, I’ve learned so much about myself, my triggers, even why I crave ice-cream specifically when I’m upset. When I look at my earlier motivators, I was motivated to “get back on track” out of anger; angry that I did this to my body (again). One of my major discoveries is that I was wrong, again. Anger was not the way to be successful or become healthy.
Emotions have a huge effect on the internal workings of our body. Some people try to departmentalize thoughts, emotions and weight loss but that is impossible because each one affects the other, either through anger or love. Your emotions have an effect on your whole way of existing. Your thoughts and emotions determine every behavior ranging from interpersonal skills, self-destructive behaviors, even the neurochemicals and molecular structure of your body. This revelation was life changing for me.
Anger is a motivator that negatively affects our body in the same way, negatively. Just think of how you feel when someone that you care about is angry with you, how saddened you are, perhaps even sending you into a tailspin of despair or depression or causing you to become aggressive with others. Basically, it can set you up for a bad day.
Love on the other hand also affects your body, only this time in a very positive sense. Now think about when someone you care about expresses love to you, a nice comment, gesture or affection in some way. You feel good, don’t you? Not only do you feel good, but since our thoughts determine our emotions, and our emotions determine behavior, those thoughts empower or disempower you and all of it began with your thoughts. Were they based in Anger, or in Love?
It’s true in therapy that you could affect change by focusing on your behavior, or on the emotion but if you want long lasting, lifestyle change the focus has to be in the mind. Renewing your mind, setting your thoughts on things that are good, loving and kind towards yourself, that’s a part of loving yourself and if you love yourself, you’ll treat yourself through that love by caring for yourself.
Now, the question is, “do you care about you?” If you do, then from this day forward it’s a time to love yourself. Not egotistical, or self-absorbed, but genuine love. Yes, you may overeat, or all out binge from time to time, either because you’re hurting, celebrating, or whatever the emotional trigger is, you overeat. You could have paid attention to your emotions and thoughts before the binge, but you didn’t. Your behavior gets out of hand, you seem to lose control of yourself. It can happen, but if it does, you have the power to determine your reaction to the behavior, you can be angry with yourself, or you can love yourself, love your health, your fitness, just love feeling good.
Change the way that you think about yourself, love yourself. Allow yourself to feel the host of emotions that come with that love; name every good thing about you and as you do your thoughts will lead to positive caring behaviors.
You’ll be changing from the inside out. Blessings!
So, this is what happens when we....
• Cells become agitated
• You feel sad, weak or worthless
• Lack energy
• Psychologically irrational, distorted thoughts
• Release of adrenaline and noradrenaline that hinders weight loss
• Ready to fight yourself or flight (give up)
• Hindered intra and inter relationships
• Abusive, rude tendencies
• Blaming others
• Suppressed immune system, HBP, IBS, and other physiological problems
• Fluids between cells change, causing cells to cling together
• Psychologically strong
• Release of serotonin, makes you feel good
• Strong intra and inter relationships
• Kindness exudes from you
• Ownership of yourself
LOVE IS UNFAILING