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Anger vs. Love: Discovering Your Motivation

Saturday, August 11, 2012



Anger vs. Love: Discovering Your Motivation

Throughout my life and during weight loss, I’ve had the occasions (although fewer and fewer as my self-discovery journey unfolded), where I would binge, eating everything in sight, craving “junk” and not stopping at 10 chips, if you know what I mean. I was like a bulimic, but without the vomiting. I stuffed and stuffed, wishing that I could eat more. After these episodes I would get angry with myself. Throughout my weight loss journey, I’ve learned so much about myself, my triggers, even why I crave ice-cream specifically when I’m upset. When I look at my earlier motivators, I was motivated to “get back on track” out of anger; angry that I did this to my body (again). One of my major discoveries is that I was wrong, again. Anger was not the way to be successful or become healthy.

Emotions have a huge effect on the internal workings of our body. Some people try to departmentalize thoughts, emotions and weight loss but that is impossible because each one affects the other, either through anger or love. Your emotions have an effect on your whole way of existing. Your thoughts and emotions determine every behavior ranging from interpersonal skills, self-destructive behaviors, even the neurochemicals and molecular structure of your body. This revelation was life changing for me.

Anger is a motivator that negatively affects our body in the same way, negatively. Just think of how you feel when someone that you care about is angry with you, how saddened you are, perhaps even sending you into a tailspin of despair or depression or causing you to become aggressive with others. Basically, it can set you up for a bad day.

Love on the other hand also affects your body, only this time in a very positive sense. Now think about when someone you care about expresses love to you, a nice comment, gesture or affection in some way. You feel good, don’t you? Not only do you feel good, but since our thoughts determine our emotions, and our emotions determine behavior, those thoughts empower or disempower you and all of it began with your thoughts. Were they based in Anger, or in Love?

It’s true in therapy that you could affect change by focusing on your behavior, or on the emotion but if you want long lasting, lifestyle change the focus has to be in the mind. Renewing your mind, setting your thoughts on things that are good, loving and kind towards yourself, that’s a part of loving yourself and if you love yourself, you’ll treat yourself through that love by caring for yourself.

Now, the question is, “do you care about you?” If you do, then from this day forward it’s a time to love yourself. Not egotistical, or self-absorbed, but genuine love. Yes, you may overeat, or all out binge from time to time, either because you’re hurting, celebrating, or whatever the emotional trigger is, you overeat. You could have paid attention to your emotions and thoughts before the binge, but you didn’t. Your behavior gets out of hand, you seem to lose control of yourself. It can happen, but if it does, you have the power to determine your reaction to the behavior, you can be angry with yourself, or you can love yourself, love your health, your fitness, just love feeling good.

Change the way that you think about yourself, love yourself. Allow yourself to feel the host of emotions that come with that love; name every good thing about you and as you do your thoughts will lead to positive caring behaviors.

You’ll be changing from the inside out. Blessings!

So, this is what happens when we....

FEEL ANGER emoticon
• Cells become agitated
• You feel sad, weak or worthless
• Lack energy
• Psychologically irrational, distorted thoughts
• Release of adrenaline and noradrenaline that hinders weight loss
• Ready to fight yourself or flight (give up)
• Hindered intra and inter relationships
• Abusive, rude tendencies
• Self-pity
• Blaming others
• Suppressed immune system, HBP, IBS, and other physiological problems

FEEL LOVE emoticon
• Fluids between cells change, causing cells to cling together
• Energized
• Psychologically strong
• Release of serotonin, makes you feel good
• Strong intra and inter relationships
• Kindness exudes from you
• Victory
• Ownership of yourself

LOVE IS UNFAILING emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DAISYGIRLM2
    WOW! This is great info! Thank you so much for blogging about this, it is so precise and clear. Anger is an emotion..acknowledge it, but do not allow it to control....I like this. Love, Peace and Acceptance can help heal so much emoticon

    Thank you again!
    1217 days ago
  • SLIMTHICK2
    Good Post emoticon
    1306 days ago
  • SUSIEMT
    I am so glad you were selected as Spark Motivator today. I decided to read this blog and it was GOOD! Thank you so much!
    1306 days ago
  • AMANDACOETZER
    emoticon
    1306 days ago
  • SMARTIN77
    I'm a Christian and firmly believe in the power of words...using them to bless or curse. It's so true that if we find ourselves in stressful, negative situations or we tear ourselves down with negative words, we are affected on a molecular and spiritual level. There was a series of experiments done a few years ago by a Japanese scientist on water crystals and rice using this principle. One group was spoken over with words of affirmation and love...the other with hate and negativity. The affirmed (blessed) crystals grew into beautiful shapes, the negative ones were destroyed or deformed. The same with rice. The "affirmed" rice stayed clean and white after several weeks, but the cursed rice grew moldy and disgusting. While I can't vouch for the validity of such experiments (though there are plenty who copied this on YouTube), I know that this is a true principle. May we remember to bless others and affirm them this holiday season and always.
    1371 days ago
  • SANDBBAR
    This is wonderful...I needed to read this!! Congratulations on losing 100 pounds...that is awesome!! emoticon emoticon
    1443 days ago
  • WILLITWORK1
    what an amazing blog and just exactly what I needed to read. Thank you.
    1484 days ago
  • FITNWHOLE
    Thank you for this blog post. I see myself getting back on track out of anger but after reading your post I felt a weight lifted off me because I realize that I'm doing this because I love myself and I want to be healthy.

    Thanks again and God bless!
    1495 days ago
  • FERGSGIRL2
    one of the best blogs I've ever read! thank you so much for sharing!!!!!!!
    this is a "keeper" for me.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1497 days ago
  • HIKINGSD
    Great attitude. Thank you for sharing.
    1498 days ago
  • KIMI_SILVA
    Beautifully written. Thank you. I'd like to know why it is that you crave ice cream - as that is my go-to craving.
    1501 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    A good reason to avoid anger and cultivate peace and love.
    1505 days ago
  • WOUBBIE
    "...I was motivated to “get back on track” out of anger; angry that I did this to my body (again)."

    Wow. I wish everyone on SP would read this blog! You hit the nail on the head with that one!

    Anger is the root cause of "Yet Another Day One" and love is the root cause of "The Last Day One"!
    1506 days ago
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