Saturday, August 11, 2012
I'm still staying busy trying to do positive things that I had no time to do with all the group activities and work I did in the past. Yes, I'm staying off my own group (well 50% mine) but not ready to deal with the animosity I feel coming from one member (actually two, but she is a friend of this person who is attacking and I'm not into drama and being ugly so they'll have to stew it out with each other and I won't be included).
I'm not sure I will even participate in the co-op that this person created (and didn't include my friend and I in the planning of although we're the leaders of the group, which was very telling of what her intentions have been all along) that starts early next month although I do not like to abandon anything that I said I would do.
Anyway, on the positive, I got all the clothes that didn't sell at the last church consignment sales I went to tagged with new tags (every church requires different tags and has different rules) and that took quite a while.
I pulled out all the winter clothes from last year that I put in labeled tubs in the attic for my daughter (my son doesn't have as many clothes as her so he has all his in his room) and got my daughter to start going through them a little bit.
I plan to go through our bookshelf and see if I can add anything else to the box of books and old curriculum I have to take with me to hopefully sell. My house is very small and although we homeschool, I have to plan every purchase we make with space in mind.
I am very proud of myself for not overbuying at the homeschool curriculum book fair I went to this year (actually underbought) and also the recent online purchases I made. I think I have finally after all these years learned to focus on what I have time to use and what I will really get a benefit out of.
Unless I can find something dirt cheap at a thrift store or second hand, I think long and hard before purchasing it. I will be honest and say at lot of my past overpurchasing was due to trying to find things that would help my son who has a learning disability and also getting frustrated with a particular curriculum that didn't work for him. I have learned now that no curriculum will ever be perfect for him and I have to choose what works best for his strengths.
On a personal note, I'm struggling right now with trying to force myself to eat to keep up my strength. As much as I am trying to not let it get to me (the group incident) it is affecting my sleep, my stomach (which is always in knots and hurts all the time), and my appetite. I'm trying very hard to keep my strength up by eating, and most of the time I just am not in the mood but do it anyway.
I have low blood pressure and as a result of that feel very light-headed at times and also have feelings of almost blacking out, so know I need to keep eating.
I know this can't go on and I have to get a solution to the problem soon, but I am not willing to be the better person anymore because I have not attacked or been ugly to anyone. It's being done to me and I'm not willing to be a person's mental/emotional punching bag.