Wow. I have fallen completely down, far below where I was last month at this time. It's completely my fault, because all these things are within my control and ONLY mine.
This time last month I had been smoke free for 4 days. I had not had a soda for over 2 weeks. I had completely given up fast food and was eating lots of freggies and drinking tons of water. I was exercising at least an hour a day. I was even controlling my spending habits and not using credit cards (non-weight related, I know).
As of today, I have started smoking again. I have been drinking soda daily and have eaten fast food at least 2-3 times in the last week. I haven't had my 64 oz of water in at least 4 days. I haven't exercised in over a week and a half. I've been spending like money grows on trees. I'm a mess.
All of this is within my control, I know. Honestly, I don't know what happened or why I've completely lost it. I want to find something to blame, but really it's just a lack of discipline on my part. I started to get stressed about my new position at my new school, meeting all my new colleagues and how much work I need to do already. Once that stress hit, I just lost it.
Again, I know this is all within my control. I have a plan to get past this dark, dismal place I've gotten into, but I really need support in following through with my plan. I'm not normally one to ask for help, but PLEASE - if you are my spark friend - check up on me when you have the chance, see how I'm doing and KICK my a$$ when necessary! Seriously - I need this accountability. I need LOTS of support.
So here's my plan:
Smoking - I quit originally because I read a book called "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" by Allen Carr. It made so much sense! It really was easy to quit at that point. But he even says in the book that someone should try to quit when they have stress in their lives. When I quit I was on summer break - no stress from work. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was not beginning to read the book again when my stress level started increasing. SO - I'm going to read the book again starting today and quit smoking again ASAP. I know it's the worst thing for me, I can feel the effects with each puff. It's the MOST important thing to stop NOW.
Eating - I have not been tracking at all since I know how badly I've been eating. So back to tracking I go, no matter what I eat. I need to see those calories rise to realize what I'm doing to myself. I am also going back to eating from home - making lunch to take to work and eating dinner at home. I really need to make sure I have enough snacks too, because when I start to get hungry is when I stop at the drive through. Now here's the biggie for me - NO MORE SODA!! Next to smoking, it's always been my biggest vice. I will to replace it with water, like I did before. I don't keep it in the house, so if I'm not eating out/getting fast food, this shouldn't be a problem either.
Exercising - Now that summer is over, this may be the biggest challenge for me. I already wake up at 5 a.m. because my school is 45 minutes away from home. When I get done with work, I am exhausted. BUT I know I have to make time to work out somewhere in my day, if only for 10 minutes. It makes me feel better physically, clears my mind and helps me emotionally. I HAVE to remember that! I do have a free gym membership through my job, and the gym is close to my school, so I have no excuses not to stop on my way home to work out. I'm also going to set my alarm for 4:30 a.m. to get in some yoga before work. It always helps me clarify things to start my day off right. This schedule has worked for me before, with the exception of the 4:30 wake up time, so I think it will work again. I just have to remain focused and remember how good exercise makes me feel.
Last but not least - Spending - I have already taken my credit cards out of my wallet. I still have my debit card, but that's necessary for gas and groceries. Since I will be packing my lunch and snacks, I will spend a lot less money in that area. However, my car tends to steer itself into shopping areas and Goodwill quite often
I'm going to have to put my foot down and tell it to quit doing that to me! Seriously though, I know I don't have the money to spend on frivolous things right now, so shopping for anything but groceries is out!
So there is my plan - any thoughts? Suggestions are welcomed and appreciated. AGAIN - A$$ kicking is also welcomed when necessary! I know this is about me and my life, but support from my friends is always helpful. Thank you in advance for reading, responding and being such great support!