Thursday, August 09, 2012
I am looking at you a little differently these days than I use to. I want to apologize for being so critical of you for a lot of years, especially the teens and early 20's. I know that I would belittle you and then I would treat you poorly and do things like not feed you enough, and then turn around and feed you all the wrong foods. I never nourished you the way you needed me to, the way that would have made you function the best. I would look at you with disgust and not see all the things about you that were right. I blamed you for my unhappiness, not realizing that my mistreatment was the very root of the problem.
In my very early 20's, I know I gave up on you all together, and just decided that we were meant to be fat and stopped trying to fight it. It was much like when a parent doesn't treat a child with love and respect, and that child grows up to be a difficult teen, and then the parent just writes them off, not seeing their part in what went wrong. In my mid 20's, I started to respect you a little more, and I realized that you were functioning for me, and I stop being so critical, but I still mistreated you. I didn't work you out, and I fed you all the wrong the foods. My poor heart worked twice as hard to carry that 300 plus pounds. My poor skin was stretched, and pulled.... but you still did your best to get me around. I was borderline on blood pressure and cholesterol... but you lifted that weight every day and continued to pump blood throughout my massive body. It wasn't until the latter mid 30's that I realized my part in this. You are good body that was just mistreated.
I fixed the things in my head and stopped hating you. I learned how to treat you the way you deserved, and I am thankful that you responded so well. I started to nourish you with healthy foods and you started to function better. It wasn't about eating less, it was about fueling you better and letting you move. I am sorry it took me so long to learn this. You aren't a bad body, I just treated you poorly. Now you are at a good size, and you look good and function so much better. No more aches and pains. You're functioning at the optimal range for a lot areas, and I think you might even be in bikini shape for the first time ever.
My promise to you is that from here on out, I will continue to treat you with utmost respect. I will nourish you the best I can, feeding you whole healthy foods. I will try to meet all your needs. I will not feed you things that don't make you feel good like sugar and processed food. God didn't design you to eat that stuff, and I shouldn't have expected you to process it. I will get up in the morning and continue to take you running. I will love you, saddle bags and all. I will look for ways to help you function better and be stronger. I know I just put you through a lot, having that extra skin remove from my stomach... but I like how we are working together now. I feed you lots of healthy food and you heal faster. There is so much about you that I like now. I like the muscles on my upper arm. I like the way you can climb a mountain or twenty flights of stairs and not be sore the next day. I love my well defined collar bone. I love my slender calves. I love how you can out run the kids, and that they get tired first. You are amazing... you went from getting breathless going around the block to being able to complete a full marathon. I am so so happy I learned how to treat you right. Oh body.... what can I say, you complete me.