Thursday, August 09, 2012
It's always amazing to me how a little think like a piece of paper can be so upsetting.
There have been many times where I tied myself in knots over money. And I think everyone in the world has been in the same boat. But it's just paper. It's not important enough to make myself sick, or do things that will ultimately hurt me. As long as you can pay your bills and fill your refrigerator and pantry with healthy foods, who cares what's left over?
I'm on the right track. I wasn't expecting to have to pay $500 for my car, but it's only money and I have enough to cover it. It's just...upsetting. But after a few deep breaths, making myself a cup of herbal tea (the Yogi-brand Relaxed Mind), closing my eyes and just sitting quietly for a minute and focusing on my breath...it's okay. I've measured out the exact amounts of food I want to eat today, but the urge to just devour everything in the office has passed.
It's all work that needs to be done before I drive to Arkansas, so that I can be safe. There was a moment where I thought about not getting it fixed now, so that I could spend more on vacation. But being safe is more important.
It's just money, and it only means I won't be spending as much on treats and presents for the family. It's not worth giving up my health or losing all of the momentum I've gained in the last month.