Thursday, August 09, 2012
I'm still here daily but not obsessively. I weighed myself but I'm not overly concerned about the scale. It feels almost like I've lost my passion but it feels healthy.
I'm focusing on staying within the nutritional guidelines and tracking in the morning for the day ahead. Concern: Yesterday I worked over 12 hours and preplanned an unhealthy lunch- buffalo chicken finger sub from the local pizzeria with a pepsi. What was not planned was my rush of activities that delayed my lunch into the near dinner hour. Another rush that prevented my microwaving my frozen dinner so I grabbed Mcds on the way home at 1015pm. A snack of popcorn before bed and I felt done for the day. It fell within my nutritional range, only short a bit on protein.
My first thought: is this the beginning of a free-for-all? The start of slipping backward?
Time will tell but I do know it feels different this time. I'm not panicked or upset. There is no deep set fear of failure. It is a calm realization that this is my life. One day of eating this junk is NOT going to derail my LIFE. Keeping in perspective for myself :)
I have been using spark coach's free two week trial and I like it. There's a comfort in it for me and I really like the individual feel to it. Whether I'll pay for it is another matter. I'll see in two weeks.
I read success tips from other members and one stood out- treat your healthy journey like it is your job.
So this is what I will be doing. My job. To be a good employee it requires a belief in the work being done- attention to quality, dedication, organizational skills, positive attitude, problem solving skills, accountability, and flexibility. Most of all, you must learn to play nice in the sandbox.
Playing nice in the sandbox is difficult for me. I play very nicely with others but I set unrealistic expectations on myself. My time perception is off. I expect instant results along with perfection, thank you very much.
Rather than this journey being my LIFE right now, it is part of it. A small part. A necessary part. The main focus is on LIVING. Being more active has multiple benefits- I get off my tush and get the house cleaned. I go for a bike ride and its burning fat along with giving me time alone with the hub or a friend. Food is tracked because my life runs smoother when I plan our meals ahead of time. Eating out is bad for our budget and for our health. I physically and emotionally feel great when I am eating healthier and exercising regularly. It is a lifestyle change, not a race. Not a time sensitive task. Perfection? PFFT. Smerfection. I have never and will never achieve perfect.
I'm okay with not being perfect. Just remind me of this when I forget!