It has been almost a year (to the exact date) that I last signed on to Sparkpeople. I am ashamed. During that year, I lost 10 pounds, gained 11 pounds, lost 15 pounds , gained 19 pounds... and here I am again. What a funny little roller coaster this ride called "life" is!

Good news though! I had a reality check! BAM!!-Slapped right in the face with what is going on in my life, weight, health, etc.

I have been "preparing" to start a healthier life for a while.. I don't exactly know what that means.. "preparing". Does anybody else do this? I find myself having to "get ready" to eat healthy and exercise. Kind of.. mentally prepare myself. But, it dawned on me.. What better time to start than NOW? How is waiting until the infamous "Monday" going to help me reach my GOALS?!

This became a huge realization about 1 week ago, when I took a trip with my mother, brother and 2 of my brother's friends to Atlantic City, NJ. I am 10 years older than my brother, so he and and his friends are all around 14-15 years old. We all decided that we were going to ride on "The Slingshot". A completely awesome ride where you sit in a little "ball" and it SHOOTS you in the air, like a slingshot.

I rode this very same ride 4 summers ago and it was FANTASTIC. So, of course, I was ecstatic to ride it again. We get in line, waiting.. waiting.. and all of a sudden, panic strikes through me and I start to feel a little sick. For the first time, in my entire life, I thought "Will I fit in that?" Tears immediately sprung to my eyes as the realization of my new thought process hit. "Will I fit in THAT?"

As we approached the front of the line, my heart was pounding and I was preparing to be humiliated. I get to the "ball" and sit in the seat. Snug, VERY snug. Juuuuust about uncomfortable, but I fit. Now, I am not excited about the fact that I fit because, really, I SHOULD. But, the point is... I have brought myself to this weight where the thought "Will I fit in THAT?" is a legitimate question/fear/thought.

When I came home from my mini vacation, I got on the scale and found that I was at the heaviest I have ever been. I decided that I can't be on this rollercoaster anymore.. I want to get off, so that I have all the room in the world to ride "the slingshot" or whatever ride I want to without a single thought about my weight/size popping into my mind.

It has been a week and I have successfully lost 5.8 pounds. I have been tracking my food and tracking my exercise with Spark. I have made a promise to myself to log in, track and use as much of the tools that Spark has to offer this time around.. That's the whole point, isn't it?

After this week, I have so much more energy and am feeling GOOD about myself. My scrub pants already are a bit looser!

I will update soon. Thanks for reading!