Dealing with the Demons
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
I started off this summer with a plan to drop weight, and work hard at making my goals.
July ended up being a big of a wash, I allowed my life to interrupt my progress. The good news, though, is that I didn't back-track.
August has started off with a bang. I have been working on my emotions and some of the things that up until now I have buried and I have used food to conceal. (Well I started in July, and August has given me some major revelations)
I have learned to take some deep breaths before reacting.
I have learned that food doesn't hide or fix the emotions, it just makes me feel badly later.
I have learned that there are things in my past that still hurt, and I have spent a lot of time trying to bury those feelings. Instead, I need to feel them, acknowledge them, and accept them so that I can finally move on.
I have started with my brother. We used to be close, and haven't been for years. I always try and try again to make a relationship with him, but he doesn't seem interested. Instead of beating myself up and continuing to hurt, I have made amends with it. I told my brother how I felt, he apologized and I told him what I wanted and left it up to him.
Our tenant is in a BAD relationship with someone that is a duplicate of my ex. He's an alcoholic that lacks, as you can imagine, respect and decency. Not only that he is belligerent, and has anger issues. I have, as of this week, reached my limit with what I can handle, listening to their constant fighting, and that is because the most recent events involved him pushing and shoving her, which is another trait of my ex.
All of this has brought back a lot of emotions that I shoved way down deep inside and never fully dealt with. I have allowed myself to shed some tears and let go of some of the nasty things that I went through.
The point is that I have been dealing...THE HEALTHY WAY. I am not shoveling food in my mouth or hitting the drive-thru because I am burying the feelings.
I feel good about taking these necessary steps to deal with my emotions and to have admit, though I have done my share of crying I feel like finally this "weight' is being lifted. I am starting to finally figure out myself again.
I still have a long way to go.
I started this summer with the focus of health, exercise, and losing weight. So far I have lost weight, 17 lbs (1.5 more as of this morning), I have started dealing with the demons and the reasons for my overeating/emotional eating, and although I am not yet on a regular exercise routine...I am well on my way.
I have been taking care of myself in so many ways, and I am happy that I have been able to do that and see positive results.