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    PINKHOPE   115,684
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Are others waiting for you to fail?


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Wednesday, August 08, 2012

This journey is not easy. If it was we would not have so many overweight and obese people in the world! It's also not a "quick jaunt" but rather an endurance test over a course strewn with obstacles. Today I want to talk about those people in your life that are just "waiting for you to fail".

I'm sure everyone has SOMEONE in their life that fits this category. Let me describe this person. They may be a family member or close friend. They might be a co-worker or acquaintance. Whoever they are they stand on the sidelines watching and waiting. They almost seem EAGER to see you fail.

They may say things like: "You know you will gain it all back." or "You won't stick to this!" or "You will get bored of this and quit." Maybe they say this from experience. Maybe that has been your history but IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE!

Don't let the naysayers in your life plot your course or determine the speed at which you traverse it. This is YOUR journey. It's personal! YOU determine each day if you are going to pull into a pitstop, get some repairs, take a detour for a vacation, or press the "pedal to the medal" and make haste.

Some naysayers can be converted into cheereleaders when you "educate them". Perhaps you can ask them to "comment" when you are making success with positive words. If's it's a close family member you can even say things like "When you believe in me I believe in myself". If you don't want them to be the diet police TELL THEM. Let them know that you have a plan and it varies from day to day and that they can HELP you by just giving positive encouragement.

IF this naysayer is also overweight/obese perhaps they want you to fail to make them feel better about their own weight issues. This person may not be ready to make the changes needed to go on their own journey but you can still find ways to positively influence THEM by keeping your relationship unchanged. Show them that you still love them. If they feel neglected because of your time at the gym schedule special time to go shopping or to a movie with them. As they see the pounds falling off your silent witness may inspire them.

The bottom line - it's YOUR journey. Don't let the negative thinkers pull you down. Just wave and smile as you drive past them on the way!

Press On!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEALOWE 9/8/2012 3:01PM

    Thank you for your sage advice.

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BTSYGRS 8/23/2012 10:37AM

    Very good blog. Thank you!

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GOOSIEMOON 8/18/2012 7:28AM

    emoticon

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SAFETYSUE 8/17/2012 3:58AM

    You are spot on as always! I have had my share of people wanting me to fail over the years. It took a lot of hurt feelings then great resolve to decide I am worthy of my success. I decided to just be generous and kind and not boast about how much I have lost or how, unless they asked. I tell them about Spark, assure them it is not a diet but a lifestyle change. I also tell them it is work, but I know they have what it takes to be successful.
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EBUCKLEY27 8/16/2012 12:58AM

  That is great advice.... but what do you do when the person who wants you to fail most is yourself??? I have a habit of sabotaging myself when I am doing well, like I feel I don't deserve to be happy and healthy. I am trying to change that mindset. Maybe by blogging, I can vocalize those feelings when they happen and get feedback from others.

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ESME25 8/14/2012 1:41PM

    emoticon

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ARMINDA6 8/14/2012 9:28AM

    I hear you... My hubby liked the fat lady.....the one I was when I started loosing. He would actully get upset if I didn't eat the food he was offering. I am very fortuant though, When i started at 305 pounds, I let everyone know! My church family was fantasic! My friends were so supportive! I was on Weigh Watchers and the ladies at gatherings would make me a WW dish. I did quit WW and started Sparkpeople Aug 3rd. Doing good so far. Nice to meet you!

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MAMA_CD 8/13/2012 7:47PM

    True some people because of their own insecurities or fears want us to fail. We can only hope the best for them, and do what we know is best for us. I'm glad we have sparkpeople to support us. emoticon

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SOON2BSMALL1313 8/13/2012 1:51PM

    i love this as I have a person who looks to watch me fail. but i have plenty of others who are trying to help me succeed

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DONNA5281 8/13/2012 11:36AM

 

Thank you!


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REENIE131 8/12/2012 10:10PM

    Very true! Thanks for this!

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JENAE954 8/12/2012 12:45PM

  What do my friends offer in my quest for better lifestyle changes?
Guess I'm very blessed since they all have been wonderful, supportive and thrilled with the progress . It shows in my persona, clothes and attitude.
Today I will remember to be grateful for all the support.

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JSTETSER 8/12/2012 9:33AM

    Keep moving forward

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TRYINGHARD54 8/12/2012 8:53AM

    soooooooooooooo true

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MANILUS 8/12/2012 7:47AM

    Absolutely true, great recommendations!

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THETROUT 8/12/2012 7:05AM

    Thanks for the encouragement.

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LYNMEINDERS 8/12/2012 12:54AM

    Amen...so true

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FRANCES-AGAPE 8/11/2012 8:22PM

    SO TRUE !

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But having grown up in a home where Negativity and Criticism was the norm, it has been a HARD lesson to REALLY LEARN and TAKE TO HEART.

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Thank God, for my WONDERFUL hubby Jack and TERRIFIC son Matthew!
They have shown me what Unconditional Love is ! I mentally knew that God's love is unconditional, but not emotionally. Not until I actually experienced Jack's and Matt's.

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That's the wonderful love we feel here on Spark. We will probably never meet face to face, but we have a special connection on here.
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SORRY, for babbling on your wonderful blog, P-Hope.
It struck a cord with me

Have a Super Sunday, Sparkers !

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BLESSINGS!

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MOM2BOYZ1GIRL 8/11/2012 6:51AM

    I think part of it is because if you suceed it means they have failed, and instead of doing something about it they would rather make you want to quit.

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IN102WIN 8/10/2012 6:21PM

    Thanks I have a few of those, it gets hard not to take them on but I take it one day at a time and that is what works. I try not to depend on what they say or don't say! emoticon emoticon

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WOWEETOO 8/10/2012 12:46PM

    it's the proverbial 'it's just water'..well dearie the body is mostly water and water weighs for sure
(grow up whereyou have to haul a bucket from the spring up on the side of the mountain several times a day and tell me water isn't heavy lol)
i love having lost all my and i'm having no problems maintaining because i still weigh and measure portions and DRINL THAT WATER..WHEREVER IT MIGHT COME FROM NOW
the lady mary

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MELAYAHM 8/10/2012 12:24PM

    I haven't as yet told my partner directly that I'm tracking my food (as well as I can), or exercising almost every day, because I have the strong suspicion that he will think I'm taking it too seriously (as if one can take one's health too seriously). I may be wrong, he may be supportive, but even though he knows I've given up chocolate, sweets, biscuits, he still offers me chocolate if he buys some. I know that he's only being nice, and he says he loves me just as I am, but I don't love feeling heavy and sluggish and out of breath, with grinding painful knee joints (sometimes). I'm not obese, but I am overweight, no matter what 'complimentary' things people say. And as it's getting harder and harder to shift it, it has to be now or never to change. So I do things furtively and hope that one day he'll just notice the difference and then I can tell him. My sister might well be more supportive, she's also constantly trying to lose weight. Perhaps I'll point her towards SP! emoticon

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PINKANGEL73 8/10/2012 8:28AM

    If someone needs to put you down instead of encouraging you it usually stems from their own insecurities and guilty feelings. As my mum used to say, if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

My approach is to feel sorry for people who are negative as I think they can't be very happy themselves. That's equally true of the negative thinking. If you get to really like yourself and all the good things about you then that nasty little voice in your head saying you can't do things tends to quieten down a lot!

Thanks for all your blogs - they are always interesting and thought provoking.

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LUVSBULLDOGS 8/9/2012 8:28PM

    Another reason I try to stay away from negative people.

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DUSTYGIRL25 8/9/2012 7:36PM

    Yep, their always out there! I just steer clear.

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DRKYASHI 8/9/2012 11:45AM

    Boo for 'Naysayers' emoticon -- Hooray for SparkPeople emoticon !

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CHOCOHIPPO 8/9/2012 11:42AM

    I've known many people like this, but I choose to ignore them this time around. I have a family of food pushers. Change can be scary to others, but when they see how much happier I am being healthier, they usually come around.

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GABY1948 8/9/2012 9:59AM

    Great one...we all know someone like this!

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FATBUSTINMOM 8/9/2012 9:56AM

    I don't have any (thankfully) who are "actively" negative, but I have one who silently tries to sabotage my healthy eating by offering me sweets or asking if I want to order a high calorie meal with her at a restaurant. I don't think it's intentional, I think she does it because she feels a bit guilty eating that way around me, because she's overweight herself. Good thing I know how to say No politely but firmly!

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BMW9295 8/9/2012 2:42AM

    Well said... thank you for this.

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DEENANATAF 8/9/2012 1:36AM

    Thank you for the great advice regarding what to say to naysayers. Very diplomatic.

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HOLDINGMYOWN 8/9/2012 12:48AM

    Nay-Sayers are a part of life~~ you will never be rid of them no matter what you are trying to acheive!!

The trick is this~~

Let them talk....then get on with what you are doing and SHOW them how wrong they are!!~~~
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COCK-ROBIN 8/8/2012 10:19PM

    Thank you Pinkhope! This is a very inspiring blog. And one of the worst naysayers is myself. If I am to succeed in taking it off and keeping it off, I have to turn a deaf ear to those tapes playing in my mind. "You've failed before, and you'll do it again." emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 8/8/2012 10:19PM

    Thank you Pinkhope! This is a very inspiring blog. And one of the worst naysayers is myself. If I am to succeed in taking it off and keeping it off, I have to turn a deaf ear to those tapes playing in my mind. "You've failed before, and you'll do it again." emoticon

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4RASCALS 8/8/2012 8:05PM

    Great blog. Guess we all have them. Hoping that mine will get on board. Your so right that this is our journey. We call the shots. We are winners and will succeed!!
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SNOWYOGA 8/8/2012 7:53PM

    Thanks Pinkhope, and heres to all the emoticon sayers! emoticon
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MARITIMER3 8/8/2012 7:17PM

    We will succeed in spite of them!

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ANGELWENDYMAMA 8/8/2012 5:27PM

    Awesome blog and great ideas!!

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LIVEDAILY 8/8/2012 5:04PM

    You are so right!

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XMAS2012 8/8/2012 5:00PM

    AWESOME BLOG!

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GUITARWOMAN 8/8/2012 4:27PM

    You are so right, I have had my share of sharks hovering and waiting.

things get a bit different when you have maintained for a while. First of all, you meet a lot of new folks who will never know that you used to weigh 100 or more pounds than you do now unless you (or some not nice person) tells them.

And, those who know you, including the sharks, seem to get used to the way you are and start backing off, looking for new prey, I guess.

Great blog!


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BETHGILLIGAN 8/8/2012 4:24PM

    Great blog!!! Thank you.

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THOMS1 8/8/2012 4:02PM

    And yet another great blog. Thank You.

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TRISTAROSE 8/8/2012 3:19PM

    Great Blog .... emoticon

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MTP717 8/8/2012 3:03PM

  Great blog. However, I'm the "negative thinker" as regards to my weight loss journey. Great tips on how I can deal with others as well as my own "naysayer".

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MUSOLF6 8/8/2012 2:58PM

    Love your blog emoticon

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MANDELOVICH 8/8/2012 2:31PM

    That's right! Inner conviction is everything. And often people who try to discourage us have their own issues. Good strategy and perspective, as always!

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RYANB1982 8/8/2012 2:29PM

    I loved this! It seems I'm surrounded by these people, namely my mother and sister, and it's so hard not be discouraged by their words. You're right they don't set my course, God does. I know in my heart, that if I'll follow Him, I won't get lost again. emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 8/8/2012 2:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ERICADAWN1986 8/8/2012 2:24PM

    I really needed this blog today. It can be so hard when the people who are supposed to care about you (frenemies) have negative or backhanded comments. Everybody who is on this journey is here for different reasons and has a different pace. It can sometimes be easy to forget that though.

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