Wednesday, August 08, 2012
I guess I'm stuggling to understand the point of my life. What's the purpose of my existance because I certainly don't feel like I've accomplished much or made a difference. Why do a job that bores me, buy things that really don't mean anything and try to compete with people I don't know or care about for titles, recognition and more useless stuff? I don't really feel like anything I do really matters or has a point. And if there isn't a reason to do it, a purpose, something to look forward to, why keep doing it? How can I develop an attitude of gratitude when there's very little that has any value, significance and meaning to me? I am incredibly unchallenged in all aspects of my life but the only thing that interests me is my faith, homesteading and writing. Maybe this is self-centeredness, self-absorption and depression in another form but I've never felt this way before and I don't know what to do other than to just be still and pray.