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    KOSHERHOTTIE   2,981
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Feeling Lost


Wednesday, August 08, 2012

I guess I'm stuggling to understand the point of my life. What's the purpose of my existance because I certainly don't feel like I've accomplished much or made a difference. Why do a job that bores me, buy things that really don't mean anything and try to compete with people I don't know or care about for titles, recognition and more useless stuff? I don't really feel like anything I do really matters or has a point. And if there isn't a reason to do it, a purpose, something to look forward to, why keep doing it? How can I develop an attitude of gratitude when there's very little that has any value, significance and meaning to me? I am incredibly unchallenged in all aspects of my life but the only thing that interests me is my faith, homesteading and writing. Maybe this is self-centeredness, self-absorption and depression in another form but I've never felt this way before and I don't know what to do other than to just be still and pray.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PLATINUM755 8/9/2012 11:57PM

    It natural to feel this way. When you change on part of what has been your life the rest comes into question. I've found this to be a beautiful part of this journey. I started out just looking to lose a few pounds (okay more than a few) to find out that more needed to be changed to make my healthy lifestyle what I wanted it to be. You are resetting your compass and that emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/10/2012 12:01:36 AM

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STOPPLAYING2011 8/9/2012 2:01AM

    everyone here has did an excellent job in answering your question i believe you need to search down deep within your heart and find yourself things may not be how we want them to be but like the other spark mentioned it could be a whole lot worse start by counting your blessings and not letting your self get overwhelmed emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 8/8/2012 6:50PM

    I believe each of us makes a difference - whether through our work, or to our friends and family, or through volunteer work, or something. The world is a better place because each one of us contributed in some kind of way.

You want to know about a small small change? I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Liberia (and yes, that was me trying to make a big change in lives around me - maybe I did, maybe I didn't - that isn't the point of this story). I decided to have a garden. So I cut the grass, dug up the weeds, had someone build me a fence, and dug the dirt to make raised beds. I went to the old man next door and had him help me gather chicken manure from his chicken coop, and I mixed that with dirt. I planted seeds, the seeds grew, I had lovely seedlings, I planted some and gave some away to people in my neighborhood. Everyone was impressed with how big and strong my seedlings were - and I explained that it was the chicken poopoo, and how I mixed it in the soil. Soon everyone in the neighborhood was gathering old chicken poopoo to mix in the dirt and then grow their plants.

So yes, my big big (small small?) contribution in my neighborhood was using chicken poopoo as fertilizer. And while it is a funny contribution, well, if it made someone's garden grow bigger and better vegs and fruit, then that made their lives better.

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ELIZRN 8/8/2012 3:18PM

  I hear your purpose loud & clear. You are busy looking out, instead of looking in. Your relationship with God is where you will come to know yourself at your deepest levels. Everything outside is transitory, but not so "inside." As you learn to clean & clear, you will be left with the purity of who you are & you will then understand what to do with it.

The part of you that wrote your blog is not your highest self. It is a low-energy self who is lost & needs direction.

You might be interested in working with me in the Workshops & Webinars.

elizRN

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BUBBLICIOUS6 8/8/2012 12:57PM

    The purpose of your existence is very important - to you and to others. If doing a job bores you, you can change that either by trying to make it interesting or hunting for another one that captures your interests with challenge. If you are buying things that really don't mean anything to you, then you can make a change by saving your money instead and wait for something that you really want.

You feel like your life is at a standstill. Being grateful just for the simple abundances in every day living may be small but they are still gifts to be thankful for. Approaching the little things in life may be uplifting but you are looking at the big picture with results that you aren't happy with. It sounds like you've been doing a lot of deep down reflection and coming up with a conclusion that isn't satisfying to you. And yes, it may be a depression that you are in which is masking any positive thoughts.

When I feel down and out, I think of how many people are worse off than me, example - torrential downpours that are swallowing their lives; tornadoes, hurricanes, etc. creating havoc for many and taking their lives. I'm thankful for waking up each day. I'm thankful that I can walk, be there for my family, my grandchildren, etc. Maybe making a new list of things that you want to change in your life can be a challenge for you. Turn those negative thoughts into positive by doing something.....any little thing that can be changed so you can be happier.

There isn't one human being that isn't important in this life. You just have to rearrange your thoughts to make it happen! You can do it!
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FARMGIRL1968 8/8/2012 12:49PM

    I know that God has a purpose for each of us. He loves you so much that he gave his son to die just for you. U r important to him. I also have a small homestead farm. I no longer care what other people think of me. I know im a bit weird by most peoplesstandards but im ok with that. I love my milk goats and sometimes i just sit out with them and think what a great God i serve to make such animals knowing that people like me would love them and enjoy them so much. U sound like an awsom person!

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SPARKLE1908 8/8/2012 12:42PM

    I understand how you feel and I still feel that way about my job but I started doing volunteer work at the Salvation Army and a transitional house for families and that made me really become more grateful what all that I had...those adults would love to have a job to complain about...sometimes we never know how lucky we truly are until we see someone with less than what we have...jmo

I hope you feel better about things soon!

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