Tuesday, August 07, 2012
First I'd like to thank everyone who reached out to my pity blog and supported me. Even through my inconsistent presence on here you are all still supportive and I really appreciate that. You have no idea how much it means, or maybe you do cause you've been there! :)
So I had to take a big step back. Trying to run a business that requires a lot of social media involvement as well as connecting with friends, seeing society's negativity on so many issues, it just became to much. I was trying to do more then I could manage and my personal life was suffering cause I was TO PLUGGED in. Seriously, I'm so over FB. I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. I mean I loved it. I mean it was a way for me to connect with my family and friends back home. It's tough when you live so far away. There was a great support system at one time and I relied to heavily on it. When the system broke, and my involvement on there became to much It consumed me. I found myself completely annoyed at stranger's stupidity (because you see I actually read people's comments on pages), angry at certain friends for their negative attitudes, or becoming increasingly self absorbed. Political BS, and news drama. Strangers ripping other strangers apart, people who I grew to care about and really thought were my friends truly were not my friends at all. Big learning lessons there. I had to sit back and say to myself, "wth, why are you being dumb? This is not real!"
Since moving away from home I just haven't developed friendships, I did in AZ, and I truly regret not nurturing them enough. But here in VA, I seriously know one person that i consider a friend but they aren't around much. I've tried many ways to make that work but now I even question that. When did developing friendships get so hard? I'm generally a social person, but as I continue on I find myself pulling back more and more. I've considered deactivating my account, but I am growing my page and I love reaching out to others. It motivates me to help motivate others and that has truly been a positive experience.
So what I have done is pull back. I turned off my notifications on my phone so it's not going off every other minute, I stopped checking it all the time and In doing so I've been able to focus on more Important things, like getting some items checked off my to do list, and most importantly spending some time with my daughter.
I've been putting in 3 days a week at the gym, weight training, running and hitt cardio. It's been a big shift for me from doing insanity, and my Bob Harper workouts. I still try to fit in Bob each week, at least one I'd like to do 2 as I really enjoy them, but insanity has taking a backseat for now. Slightly disappointed in myself for not finishing round two right now but my goal is to build more lean muscle so I'm really trying to focus on that right. We also got P90X in last week so that is a goal to work on as well, but right now I'm focusing in the gym. It's new, different and I'm really enjoying my time there. It's been a shift to go from 5-6 days a week, 40-45 min workouts to 3 days, 80-90 mins. I'm also walking with my girl 2-3 days a week weather permitting, they are slow 40 min walks but it's activity. And we have been trying to swim when we can. I'm still not counting calories but I'm very comfortable with where I am. My goal is not weightloss any more, my goal is burn my last fat pockets, and muscle building. I'm seeing progress, and am excited to see where it will lead too.
So I'm just focusing on life, living healthy, doing for me and my family. my amazing true friends are there all the time, that is what matters, and I'm planning on how I'm going to shape my website up, but most importantly, I'm taking one day at a time and reevaluating the true importance of my life and my goals.