People derailing your Exercise plans!
Monday, August 06, 2012
Hope Everyone had a great weekend! Well I am going to get on my rant and rave a little this am. Hope you guys don't mind. Here it goes. I work for a small family business. It is a husband & wife team. I have been here for almost 2 years. I mainly work in the office with the wife. The husband is usally out of the office tending to another business that they own.
Since I have been working out really hard completely change my way of eating, taking my vitamins everything in my power to stay on track she keeps wanting to derail my new way of being a healthier me! She has started bring in donuts, bagels, potatoe chips, cakes & cookies! Going out for lunch & bringing back pizza & wanting me to try EVERYTHING! I don't want these things! I plan out my meals a week in advance so I won't eat anything bad! She has a attitude if I don't want to eat her all of her fatting foods. A little bit about her. She is over weight & has been on all kinds of weight loss treatments. Shenhasa lost weight in the past only to regain everything back. She knows how important my workouts are to me. I bring in my gym bag everyday & change right before I get off work & head to the gym. She knows what time my group classes are at the gym & now she keeps asking me if I can work late over & over again! I have been very nice & keep telling her I will. But I do not have a happy look on my face! I really think she is trying to do this on purpose! She stays gone all day when I come in 9:00 & doesn't come back in the office till 3:00 I never go out for lunch I stay at work all day. By myself. She is very negative about everything which really brings me down & sometimes makes me nervous. She is really mean to customers & other employees. Like she is better than them. I feel really sorry for them. She tries to intimidate people which she does most of the time. I have been told by people that come in the office I am the only office girl that has been here this long. I guess she has run everybody else off. My husband really wants me to go part time or quit. He doesn't want to see me unhappy. I told her not long ago that my husband really wants me to go part time, she looks at me disappointed & said when I hired you it was Mon-Fri 9-3. I just don't know what to do anymore when she keeps asking me to work late when I dont want to! I also live about a hour away from work which puts me getting home a lot later after I go to the gym. I won't go into detail about other things I do for her that I don't get paid for that is not in my job description. I really think she is a very jealous person & not happy at all with her self so she makes other people feel bad. Any suggestions please?
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Probably all of the other comments are more in-line with what you should do. However, my (Pollyanna) reaction is to seek a happy solution. Instead of her trying to destroy your journey, could you possibly seek to take her with you. I would sit down and dialog about the current situation and get her to talk and see if there's an opportunity to have her become your health-wise pal. Offer to bring in healthy treats, go for a walk and share the "spark" that you have gotten. She is grouchy with customers and needs to feel superior...she is in an unhappy place that at least is partially due to the fuel she consumes and the current condition of her body ...she dominates others rather than herself. If you think the direct route won't work, just bring in those healthy treats and talk about how good swimming (or whatever) after work makes you feel
1745 days ago
She sounds toxic and controlling, if it were me , I would get my resume out there , she seems like a bully and perhaps a little jealous. It is a shame that you have to be a toxic environment everyday. From what I can see this position does match your happy disposition. Keep us posted. Hugs Karen
1752 days ago
I hate to give advice about situations that are very personal and where I am not the one who will pay the price or face the consequences. You are describing a rather toxic work environment, so the question is, are you getting paid enough or rewarded enough in other ways to compensate for swallowing this much daily poison? Only you can answer that question since you are the one with a horse in this race. If the answer is no, you have three options: (1) continue to smile and just gut it out because you can and you would rather not spend your time and effort job hunting and re-learning a different job, (2) look for a new job and make a conscious decision to embrace all the risks and hassles involved with that choice, or (3) stay put but take some assertive, well-planned steps to try to fix the problems, with the risk of possibly antagonizing her and eliciting more passive-aggressive retaliation--this choice will show whether she values you,or not.
However, I think it looks like your decision is already made and clearly stated between the lines of your Blog, just re-read what you have written.
1752 days ago
I can't say much more than Amestardis and Pickie98 did..I agree with what both of them have said.
I for one quit a job that I started having too much stress at. It is not worth it. If your hubby is encouraging you to do so then maybe you should think about it. On other aspects of your work are you happy? The time that she is NOT there do you enjoy what you do? If so then I would definitely consider asking her for a sit down meeting and laying out your feelings. Be prepared that she may go off on you and fire you..that is always an outcome that could happen, and if you are willing to handle that chance then I surely would stand up to her in a very employee to boss manner.
Tell her that you were hired for 9-3 as she pointed out and at this time that is all the hours you can give, and point out again that your husband wants you to go part time but you committed to those hours, no less, no more!
And you can tell her that you have laid out an eating plan you are comfortable with and are doing it for your health that though you appreciate her generosity in bringing in the goodies that you are sorry you can not partake in them.
On any of the extra's...that is purely a choice you have to make..I have been in similar situations, working for a family business sometimes is very difficult, but remember you are a human being, a woman...you are not her servant you are an employee...don't ever let anyone treat you with less than the respect that you deserve!
1752 days ago
I have A LOT to say in response to this.
1) You have been there almost 2 years and are left alone throughout the day- so you are clearly doing a great job : )
2) You have no reason to feel bad or guilty to say no to her. I might try something like- " Wow- the __________ looks so good. Your family is lucky to have you." When she pushes I would add something like "I appreciate it, but I have to stick to my ______." If this doesn't work- I would ask to speak with her and tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable when she asks. Something like that.
3) Remind yourself that how she treats you and others- has nothing to do with you. How she treats others has nothing to do with your job performance. I know it is hard especially when she makes you nervous sometimes.
4) If you want to work part time- think it out and sit down with both of the bosses and talk to them. The hours for which you were hired do not matter if you need to change it. If you can stay full time- make it clear to BOTH of them that you are unable to stay late. Be firm.
5) She only has the power to frustrate or make you nervous- that you allow her to have over you.
6) ALL of this is easier said than done. LOL. BUT- these may be some things just to think about. It is hard to assert yourself, but you may have to.
Obviously, I do not have all of the details and you just may have wanted to vent and were not seeking advice- but I like to be helpful
1752 days ago
all i can do is offer a
1752 days ago
I have no idea what to do. On the one hand, you should be able to stand up for yourself. But it's so tricky with a job...
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I will definitely keep you in my prayers. You know, He's a lot wiser than I am with these sorts of things!
1752 days ago
This is a very unhappy, extremely insecure woman.
She is ASKING you to stay late, not demanding;, she just said she expects you 9-3. She has answered your question for you. In a very polite way, I would just say, "I will not be able to stay longer than my scheduled shifts without a one week(Insert time frame here) notice.
"Family issues have come up and now I am not able to change my availability without being asked ahead of time. I really appreciate the extra hours, but now it is not possible."
If she gets angry, let her.. She wants a reaction so she has an excuse to yell and blame others for her anger, wherever it is actually coming from. In Sparks we learn to recognize emotional eaters,, she is a prime contender..
You are making her look and FEEL fat, lazy and useless. It is HER perception and yes, she is purposely attempting to sabotage your healthy ways.
If It was me, and I felt I needed to respond to her when she hauls the junk food in, I would just say I am no longer allowed to eat that stuff anymore,, it makes me sick. (I used to be able to eat that, but now I end up in the bathroom for hours if I even have one bite)I do not want to be sick and miss work.
Maybe you could make a special low fat, sugar or whatever, dessert and bring in a piece for her and ask her to taste test it for you to see if it is the right consistency or whatever.. maybe she will not feel like you are rejecting HER foods....
These are all suggestions, IMHO.
1752 days ago
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