Monday, August 06, 2012
First off, I have to say a huge THANKS to everyone who commented on my last blog. You gave me some great tips and I don't think I ever got around to commenting back. I did absorb what you said and it gave me a great place to start back.
I'm going to meet with my surgeon later on today and I'm fairly confident I'll be cleared to workout again.
In the meantime, I think I've finally come around despite being away from running and the gym. My house has never been so clean. I've never spent so much quality time with my daughter. I've been taking her to things that have been impossible due to all my races. We have time to go to the pool. We read more. We talk more. I did a math lesson with her last week and adapted a book into a play, which she ADORED. We finally made it to a Home Depot kids workshop. My race schedule usually makes that difficult.
I've caught up on books. I've caught up on movies.
I've caught up on work. I'm making some real headway on projects.
And the best part? I'm actually losing weight at the same time. I don't know how or why, but I decided it was time to get over "it". Whatever "it" was. I lowered my calories. So, I can't work out right now. So some bad stuff has happened. Fine, whatever. Moving on.
I haven't been perfect. That's the good and bad thing about weighing what I do now. When I was near goal, I had to kill myself at the gym and eat so well just to maintain and keep on the losing edge. Now I can eat well most of the time, still enjoy a few things, and be on the losing side. It's nice to have room for slack. I feel so well rounded right now. And glad that I can see the silver lining.
And most of all, I am glad that I got the feeling back. The drive. For most of the year, I have been terrified that I would fail because it has been gone. It was that force that started me a few years ago. It wasn't rational. It was just a need to do this now. Suddenly, the other day, I felt it. Not that I should work out or that logically it would be good for me. Not to train for something. Not because I had a class scheduled. But that I needed to. I almost could not sit still with the driving force of the need. The fire was back. I can't unleash it yet...but soon. And I can't wait.