Time to focus on me.
Sunday, August 05, 2012
677 days and I haven't been on here, and things are the same. Doesn't speak well of my will power.
In my defense... who am I kidding I have just been sitting around doing the least amount to get by. I just have this feeling of doom closing in... waiting for the next hurdle to jump pops up dead in front of me. And the kicker ... I didn't have anything to do with that hurdle, it belongs to someone else. But I still have to jump it and carry them also.
I worry constantly. With all three of my kids grown and on their own I shouldn't worry so much. They know I will be there when they need me. My husband travels with his job, I worry about him. And I know I should just find a job and continue on but I think I forgot how. No really I just want to figure out what I want to do. I have toyed around with the idea of going back to school, but that is way to much money.
It seems my finances will never balance. I budget and something always comes up to break that. I am getting closer with each pay, just a little. With prospects of more income it seems that that will be taken care of.
I have my own home business. Which if I were to really get my behind out there would really do well. Right now I just bring in some bill money. I do home romance parties. But right now I am doing nothing with it. I get discouraged, just knowing that when I get on track.... Something always happens. I have never missed a booked party.
I am looking for a way to get organized, and be able to get things in order so that I can have a healthy life.
Things seem to heading in that direction.
I have the house to myself most of the time...... I can exercise when and where ever I want... I can set up my pole... lol nothing sexy there yet, I mostly use it to stretch. I have vertigo and it helps so I don't bust my behind.
I can eat the foods I want to eat... I don't go grocery shopping much, there isn't anyone here to feed. I am working on getting all the processed food out of my house. I use those when my husband is home, when they are gone he is changing his diet too at least at home. While he is gone I am working on a gluten free diet, more veggies, more grains and the less processed the better.
So now I just need to push myself on to bigger and better things. I need to shift my eating habits to more healthy alternatives and I need to become active. I am about 20 pounds over weight if I lose it great if I just become toned and healthy that would be equally great.
Now I think I will see what the spark pages has to offer in ways to achieve these goals. I f you have any suggestions let me know.
Thanks for listening to my rambling.