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    VAMACKGIRL   32,575
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Oh Nick, Nick, Nick, You Know Not What you Do.... :(


Saturday, August 04, 2012

Ok so I think I mentioned the Nick getting kicked out of summer school for taking one of Doug's pocketknives to school. So I go to his "Manifestation Meeting" and I was all prepared to stand up and do my MOM thing, but no matter what I said, they had made their decision before I even got there.
Nick is labeled as being "Emotionally and Behaviorally Disabled", I think that Nick does things spur of the moment and has NO thought about the consequences that could follow. I told them he gets the 1+1 but he doesnt make to the =2.........know what I mean?
So all my talk was nothing. I walked out in tears and just sat in my car crying for about 5 minutes before I could even drive, I was MAD and I was HURT! These women do not know my son, this is summer school, they have known him for 10 days, yet they are so quick to crucify him.
So more therapy....then last Saturday night, it was after midnight and I told him to turn tv off and go to bed, as we all were. I am in bed and twice I got back up and told him to turn it off, the third time I unhooked the Cable Box, then SATAN entered the room!!! And I aint kidding!
I saw a boy I have never seen before!!! He cussed me, screaming to just let him die, just to kill him, F this F that! He physically charged me swinging, I won THAT, I pinned him down on the bed and told him to CALM DOWN AND BREATHE!" My God!
Anyway he got away from me and hauled butt out the front door barefooted. So I called Crisis Line and Doug went looking. I must say the Crisis guy could NOT have given a rats ass.... I asked should I call the police? Was told, "no they wont do much anyway, call your neighbors and see if they see him in there yards, he will most likely return on his own". WHAT? CALL NEIGHBORS? Um NO, anyway Doug comes back and daniel and I jump in the car with my 1 million light beamer that plugs into cig lighter and went looking. Here comes the fun part.............

I make it 1/2 mile away at a little Exxon/country store near us. There he is sitting in front of the glass doors looking at his feet. Must have hurt after running 1/2 miles with no shoes. He has a huge chunk of cement from God knows where that he has thrown at the door (thank God for plexiglass) he has knocked over trashcans, newspaper machine, ripped all the signs down around the gas pumps, had all the gas handles laying on the ground, ripped all the cute plants up and threw them around, cig thing knocked over, etc. etc.
So to make matters even WORSE, a man pulls up and asked me if this was my son and I said Yes and he proceeds to tell me how Nick threw rocks at his car as he was driving down the road! He was being very nice actually, and was talking to Nick about how he could of have ana accident etc, and Nick BOLTS! Runs across the road without looking, I just covered my eyes!!!! So I call Police, the man jets after him and brings him back, slings him on the pavement, breaking his glasses (at least not his neck) and holds him there. He calls Police, I said I already had......SO 5, yes 5 Police Cars show up. Nick is handcuffed and placed in back of one. So we explained everything, the man said his car was fine and he left.
So I am walking around trying to clean everything up (I stop here daily) and I get to the car and I asked Nick "Well, is THIS where you wanted to be? " And he throws his hands up showing me he is out of the cuffs, bare feet on the ceiling and banging his head against the window, like on COPS.
At this point, Doug was there and I was ready to stroke out....I told them I have never seen this in him before, blah, blah, blah. So one Policeman gets on radio and comes back saying the Juvenile Detention Home wont take him. REALLY? Did he NOT DO ENOUGH?
So they give him to me and we go home where we all just kinda fell out. I was SO exhausted, mentally and physically.
Though I DID call the CRISIS guy back and let him know all that happened, so that next time he may WANT to have the Police help search a little, what a ding dong.
So back to therapist, she sends him to get tested, so I took him to a Behavioral Center on Monday night, met the guy, Nick was bouncing off the walls. He took note. He gave me some question papers to fill out, a set for each parent. To bring and back and then he will test him and then get results in a couple of days. WOW!
So regular therapist Monday, MY MUCH NEEDED GROUP TUESDAY, and then The Office Of Student Conduct Wednesday, where they will probably kick him out of school. I am going to take all my stuff to show I am doing everything I possibly can to see whats going on inside his head, what else can I do?

So I feel better after typing all this and seeing it in front of me, thanks to all who make it all the way through this NOVEL! Please pray that I can help Nick find his way, he is such a sweet, compassionate and loving child (14) I hate to see him get really punished IF he truly has no control over his impulsive actions........I JUST DONT KNOW.

Love to all my Sparkies!!!!

Janet
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SPARKLINGDAWN 8/16/2012 10:11PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BEACHTUDE 8/14/2012 10:32PM

    I'm praying... emoticon

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MARINEMAMA 8/7/2012 8:01AM

    I will be praying...hugs emoticon

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KATOFORNOW 8/6/2012 7:33PM

    so glad you have a group to go to, too.. you need that close support...for sure.
and do hope someone discovers what it is that has Nick acting out ...anger, hormonal imbalances..I mean girls/women get them pms, pre pms, menopause..we've heard the stories...I have a feeling some guys go through it, too.. have never heard of that but hey, why not.. anyhow..
prayers are with all of you..

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NEW-PAMELA-BERG 8/6/2012 5:14PM

    my prayers are with you and your son. know that you are not alone. it does take effort to get help, but you are on the right path. best wishes on your journey.

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SAMMIESMOM13 8/6/2012 11:56AM

    I will pray that he gets help before it is too late. So sorry about all this. God bless you and him as well.

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STARRSTYLIST 8/5/2012 3:00PM

    WOW girl that is just crazy. I am so sorry you are going through all this. Sound like Nick does need some help. Thank God nothing serious happened that night, it could have gone so much worse (believe it or not). That man did a good thing by bringing him back and not pressing any charges.

As for Nick, wow so many kids are hurting and have no clue how to deal with it and it comes out as anger. From what you just said, he could go off much worse and hurt somebody one day or even himself. He definitely needs help. Have you ever thought of Military school? My girlfriend did this, when she was having similar problems with her son. And she will never regret her choice. He hated it at first, but after a while, he started "liking" himself again and started respecting himself and others, because THEY EXPECTED IT. Very close to the military and you know how they are.

I will be praying for you all. I wish I could tell you what to do and make it all better, but nobody can. I am glad you feel a bit better, being able to come here and let go of some of this. I pray that somebody's comment will give you peace or some kind of help on this.

Love ya girl..let me know if there is anything I can do..
Hugs
Teresa

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LIFEGENESIS 8/5/2012 2:52PM

    You should write a book. ;D Just sayin'.

Love you honey! I'm rootin' for ya! Let me know how the meetings go this week! MUAH!

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MISSCUS 8/5/2012 2:05PM

    It is so sad when our young ones are so internally tortured, he is at a tender age, peer pressures can really harm their young minds. I will keep you all in my prayers. I hope he gets some good help. Maybe changing his school will help. He would be able to start fresh. Counseling is hard on kids that age, they have so much going on, hormones are kicking in. Maybe if you could get him into a martial arts class it would give him a positive way of getting out some of that pent up energy out of him Also the instructors teach the kids to be in more control over their angers and energies. We put my nephew in martial arts and he learned respect and control over his problems and his mental state was way better than before.
Just a suggestion. Plus, martial arts could help raise his self esteem quite a bit. I know most areas have programs for young boys and girls, and cost is not too bad. I felt for my nephew that it was money well spent. I donated to his cause too.
He probably does have low self esteem from the other kids treating him the way they did. He is different because he is smart. That's a good quality.

Will keep you in my prayers. It is so very very tough to be a young teen. Also, before I forget, are there any teen centers nearby. These are usually hosted by the city, or town or schools?? He would meet others and form friendships. Most of the kids involved in the teen centers are going through the same things, but in different ways. But the thing is they connect.
Phyllis

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PURPLELVR7 8/5/2012 9:09AM

    I will be praying - your son and you both need help in how to deal with this so that he can find his way.

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IGSBETH 8/4/2012 10:15PM

    I am so sorry. I hope things get better.

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JUDYAMK 8/4/2012 10:10PM

    Wow Nick is so full of anger. The counselors need to find out why,before something awful happens.In his mind it is darkness & It sounds like he is screaming inside his mind to get out. He really does not like who he is & what he is becoming.I will be praying for Nick & you & all involved. My nephew is very angry & will not get help he does so far then quits, he is now almost 40 & is living in misery inside himself.Our family is hurting also because of his pain.He needed help when he was growing up his Mother refused my brother tried to get custody , & he wanted help for him . His Mother said no. Now he is a broken man. Keep fighting for your son & be there for him . I told my Mom the only thing left is prayer for my nephew. Take care
Judy

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NELLIEC 8/4/2012 7:15PM

    I am praying. Wow!

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AJDOVER1 8/4/2012 6:21PM

    My prayers are going out to you and Nick. This must be so hard on both of you. Please hang in there and try to take care of yourself, too.

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HDHAWK 8/4/2012 4:31PM

    I'm so sorry you and your family, including your son, are going through this. What a difficult position you are in. Keep looking for help. He is obviously angry about something. I wish you all the luck in the world. Sending prayers and hugs! emoticon

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ALLIEALLIE2 8/4/2012 4:28PM

    emoticon Don't give up. emoticon

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EBONYSOL 8/4/2012 4:03PM

    Hi,
You are not alone. My son had anger and impulse control issues as a young child. He is now 22 with a BSc Honours in Chemistry.
As a young child, he went from 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye. There would be a stimulus and a response with no thought in between. He worked with a school counsellor for 5 years which helped. He now tells me that he hated the school which is one of the reasons he acted out. He was bullied for being different; he is very bright.
I didn't know that fact then or I would have switched his schools earlier. For middle school we put him in a Fine Arts school full of "different" kids and he hasn't looked back.
For resources, check out Dr Ross Greene's books - The Explosive Child, Lost at School. Also, try the website www.livesinthebalance.com which covers Dr. Greene's approach called Collaborative Problem Solving.
The other fact is that he is 14 and if this is new behaviour, you might want to consider the possibility that he is taking either drugs or alcohol. I am in a12 step group and know how young people can be when they go down the wrong road.
Lastly, you can have him assessed by a neuropsychologist. It is expensive but if you have insurance it might be covered.
Hope some of the info in my email helps you.
Good luck.

Comment edited on: 8/4/2012 4:14:14 PM

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JUNEAU2010 8/4/2012 3:43PM

    emoticon Prayers freely given. Being a teenager is so hard and it sometimes takes a village to help a young person. I was fortunate to have that village (Unlike Nick, my Mother gave up on me before I was even born.) Nick does not see it now, but he will later, that he is blessed to have a mom like you.

I wish I could do more than pray....

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