Saturday, August 04, 2012
I was able to get some clothes last weekend-some from second hand stores and some new clothes. It was tough, because I hated the sizes that I had to shop in...I have NEVER been a size 18, but I went straight to that size and purposely didn't depress myself further by trying on smaller sizes. The largest size I was previously was a size 14. Those sizes still were in the "normal" size section-granted the highest size, but not considered "Plus Size." Oh well... I kept telling myself that at least I was on the low end of this range. I like Target, because they included all the sizes together and don't have a plus size department. That is so degrading and embarrassing. Anyways, mission was accomplished and I have new clothes, that aren't maternity. I think they are pretty cute too.
I was sad though, because not that I think I look great, but I didn't get any positive comments on any of my new cute clothes at work. Again, oh well...but it would have been nice to hear. The only comment I did get, was when I went to pay for gas at a gas station, the cashier asked me if I was working "at the fair." I didn't know what he meant but there is a Renaissance fair...I had to laugh, the style of my shirt reminded him of that.
I couldn't find ANY bathing suits that could cover up my body while shopping so I bought 2 online. They came in yesterday and they look alright. It was so hard to get all of these clothes, because I am hoping I won't be able to fit into them soon, but I needed them. Also, once I lose this weight I don't plan on every getting this high of a weight the rest of my life. I am going to focus on my next few pregnancies and keep a number in mind (when not pregnant) if I get above to kick my butt into gear. So, again, will I ever wear these clothes again? I had to remove those thoughts from my mind though...I need them now.
My weight loss also was so tiny last week which was discouraging because I put in the work-out minutes. I need though to focus on my water intake and also I had to remind myself that it was the week before my period and I never lose much weight then. All in all, I think I am on a good road. I let my work know that I am leaving and now just need to tell my clients, which is always tough. You build strong connections with folks when you are a therapist and it is tough for them to start over with a new therapist...the program I work in though is set up to be short-term though, so I am hoping to move them along in their treatment when I am leaving. I have about 6 more weeks with all of them and my supervisor is not going to give me any new clients.
So many changes, but good changes. It's going to be a new start for me and my family and I want to get to that person health-wise that I know I can be! I won't be in onederland by vacation, which was a goal, but I did lose some weight. I still would like to be in the 170s...even if it is 179.9 by William's 1st birthday...so I'm going to stick with that goal! I plan to start Insanity once we get back from vacation and will be finished with the 9 week program by William's birthday.
So, this blog was scattered, but I am feeling kind of good. Still a LONG way to go, but I really think if I focus I can be at a healthy BMI by the end of the year, not goal weight, but healthy BMI and maybe I will be close to my goal weight by my 31st birthday at the end of January. I am very hopeful!!!!