Friday, August 03, 2012
Ever feel like the moment you get what you want, you can't appreciate it?
I joined SparkPeople in January. January 2nd, to be exact. I tried hard for a few months, until my schoolwork started sliding, and I had to refocus my priorities. The house was never clean and the hubby and I fought a lot. (not bad fighting, but still, it added stress.) And I kept thinking, and praying, that if only I had a few days of uninterrupted rest, I would be able to do all the things I wanted to do.
So the summer came, and I decided that after my summer course I would try again. But the end of the course came, and the stress piled up because we had to move, and we kept finding roadblocks when trying to find a new place to live. The place we ended up, we signed the lease on day, and moved in two days later, only three days before our other lease was up. THAT, my friends, is called stress. It is a miracle that we lived here for two whole weeks before I had a panic attack.
After the move, I've been a stay-at-home-wife. I have all day to clean, to track food, but it hasn't happened. And you know why? Because I have been sick almost from the moment we moved in. Add to my ailment the upstairs neighbors, who never go to sleep, and play music till 5 am. Loudly.
I actually almost went to the Emergency Room a few weeks ago. If it hadn't been for how much it would cost, I don't think Joey would have even second guessed it. But the next time I'm that sick, he's taking me. No questions asked. I don't get to beg to stay home. I'm dreading it.
A general consensus has led us to believe that it is my gallbladder acting up. My mother had her gallbladder taken out when she was in her thirties, and I've been told it can be genetic. I'm about ten years ahead of her, but I'm also a lot heavier than she was at this age. I know that gallbladder procedures are costly and potentially harmful. So... not sure what I can do about it.
As I've said many times before, I don't eat junk food. I am a lover of vegetables and healthy foods. The factors adding to my being overweight have little to do with food, at least at this point in my life. I'm sure I did some stress-eating in middle school, and depression in high school took a heavy (haha) toll on my body. My goal is not to change my diet, but rather to maintain what can be maintained, and to be active when I find it possible. For a few weeks this summer I did fairly well, I did workout videos and (gasp) went to the gym with my husband that one time. But being sick has been very frustrating, for every aspect of my life. Seriously, back hurts so badly that I sit on a pillow... while I'm sitting on the couch. And yes, back pain is often associated with gallbladder symptoms.
Sigh. I could use some encouragement. And some new friends to keep my mind occupied. Less than three weeks till student teaching, so talk to me now while I'm still sociable!