Friday, August 03, 2012
Its been just over a year since i lost my 41 year old brother due to a drug overdose. That is a day i will never forget. He lived with my 71 year old mother. He had overdosed when my mom was at the lake. She came home to find her yard filled with cop cars and a forensic team. I had met her there at her house. He was found downstairs. Well needless to say this last year has been very hard. I pushed aside my grief to help my aging mom. Running to her town twice a week to help her cope. During this time i stuck with weight watchers too and lost most of my weight.
My Mom and i watched home videos today at her request and my brother happened to be in them, and the pain hit me full force. I haven't felt that kind of pain in years. Its hard to know what to do with it so i tucked it away, and went out for lunch and over ate. I tend to rationalize stress eating by telling myself that at least i didnt pick up a smoke, as i have been smoke free for two months now.
Tomorrow is another day, i will get up, work out hard and keep pushing. As i am not a quitter.