Friday, August 03, 2012
I locked myself out of facebook yesterday by changing the password to a random string of letters and numbers that I don't know.
I did this because I had become wrapped up in some hurtful things that people on my friends list were saying/promoting/participating in. It had gotten to the point that every time I opened my computer, it made me feel sad and defensive. I literally had a physical reaction to some of this stuff, and it was just plain unhealthy for me.
Part of me is very anxious about this.... I miss my awesome friends and family already. My sister ALWAYS has something hilarious to post, and I like seeing the pictures of what my parents are up to.
The other part of me is SO relieved that I don't need to deal with the bigotry that was being smeared all over the place anymore. I tried to speak out against it, and other people told me to calm down - that bigots have the right to be bigots. Well, yes, they do.... but I don't have to stand around and listen to it anymore!
So..... this morning I realize I have TONS more time now! Time that I used to spend mindlessly scrolling through other people's mundane status updates and carefully crafting my own.
So how am I going to fill that time? Well, I think I will spend it in 2 ways:
1) I want to start a meditation practice. I want to turn all of this anxiety and stress that FB caused in me into time for self reflection and calm.
2) I want to start to *meaningfully* connect with my closest friends and family again. So I am resolving to *gasp!* pick up the phone and actually CALL people. I'm going to call one person a day and have a real conversation with them, that doesn't involve clicking a "thumbs up" icon after every sentence they say.