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Deal or No Deal?

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Thursday, August 02, 2012

I was SO scared walking into that ortho office today. I mean, I really got myself all worked up. They brought me back to the doc's office and I waited and waited. The longer I sat there in that silent room, the more my imagination went wild and my stomach had a huge knot in it.

Finally, Dr. Reeves came in and sat down and said he had the results of the MRI. I was half closing my eyes, half looking at him...just waiting for the fateful words. These words would decide so much of my near future...and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear them.

The next few minutes felt like that game show "Deal or No Deal". It was like Dr. Reeves was Howie Mandel and I had just selected Case #6 (because that's my number).

Howie: Open up that case, Svetlana!

*Svetlana opens case (while craftily displaying cleavage)*

Howie: Ohhhh!!! September 8th Bloomingfoods 5k.

*Groan from the audience. And from me.*

Howie: So, the September 8th 5k is off the table. Wait...the Banker is calling with a deal for you.

*Silence in the Audience*

Howie: OK, here is what the Banker is willing to give you if you will agree right now...

NO OCD (chipped cartilege injury)
Bruised bone
4 weeks in a walking boot
Non-weight bearing course of treatment
*Audience is booing and shouting, 'No deal! No deal!'*
Water Treadmill and Pool Therapy
Return to Running Program with physical therapist
*Some audience members get excited and start to cheer*
And the final piece of the Banker's offer...October Half Marathon as planned

Contestant (aka me): Well, let's see here. This is a major decision. I mean, this is going to be a HUGE investment of time at the P/T office and in the pool and let's not even THINK about the cost of this treatment. Am I truly an athlete??? Or am I just a gentle jogger? I probably should decide this before I begin any multi-thousand dollar course of treatment. Am I really serious about this sport? Am I a runner...or a jogger?

Howie: You have 30 seconds to decide. DEAL OR NO DEAL?

Well...come on now...are you really on the edge of your seat? If you are, then you don't know me very well, do ya?

Of course I TOOK that deal!!!

Doc said, "Ok...I gave you the best possible course of treatment. Now it's up to you to do the hard work for the half marathon."

Trying not to think about how much work it's actually going to be...but I am pretty excited about one thing...I won't have to buy new shoes for at least a month!

P.S. A serious word on the bruised bone - this all happened because of my excessive weight. My talus bone in my ankle simply could not handle the force of my fibia constantly pounding it. I also have mild osteoarthritis in my ankle, which contributed to this apparently. This is definitely a wake-up call for me about my weight...although I have done a great job so far and lost weight using running as my primary method of calorie burn, I have got to get more strict with my diet and make sure I use my pool time to the max. I've been struggling the past couple of days to eat right. I don't know why it's been so hard for me...but I have GOT to do this. I NEED to get some weight off before October. This is going to take some serious mental toughness. Quite honestly, I am nervous and scared and doubting myself at times. This is the time to switch into athlete mode. If I say I'm going to train as an athlete, I need to begin to walk that walk and not just talk the talk. It's going to be hard.
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  • CAROL494
    emoticon emoticon
    2056 days ago
    You can do it!! emoticon
    2056 days ago
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    2056 days ago
    I say: "You can do this, just believe in yourself and look in the mirror and tell yourself, I can do this!". I was a volunteer firefighter for ten years and a Captain, Fire Service Training Instructor, the District safety officer, driver training instructor, Recruit School Coordinator, and served on the WA State Fire Chiefs Safety Committee. I had it all, I worked out to the Firm Workout every weekday morning and ran five miles or more every night. I was a 4-H leader for twenty years and showed paint horses in dressage and jumping.

    There was one thing I wanted but was afraid to go for it! I wanted to take the tests to become a career firefighter with Richland WA. Three years in a row I chickened out and didn't go, they only hold it once a year.

    New year, my Firm Workouts, protein shakes twice a day with a well balanced dinner, and running in the evening put me in the best shape of my life! On a Friday one of the guys from Richland asked me if I was coming in Monday to take the test? He said to come by his station Satuday and he would let me practice the physical agility test. No woman had ever passed. I took him up on his offer and it went well so I showed up on Monday, took that test with about 200 others. I passed with flying colors and was to be hired in March of 1992. I was screaming in my car after I left, I did it! It was the best feeling of my life!

    Unfortunately fate had other plans. In December, 18th just before Christmas I fell from a fire engine on the job! It was a meeting night and truck maintenance checks were being done. I was asked to check out some canvas straps ontop the fire engine that weren't hooked on one side and a hazard of flying off and hitting an innocent car following behind the vehicle. I climbed up to take a look and they weren't long enough to go all the way across the top! I was trying to lengthen them and it popped of the other side when I had all my weight on it! I flew off the engine backwards and landed on the tire chains that had just been taken off the tires. I was paralyzed instantly and in excruciating pain. I hit my head on the tire chains and had gaping wounds almost from ear to ear, but I didn't know this for ten days when the nurses at Harbor View Trauma Center in Seattle where I was airlifted to a couple days after multiple test at my home town hospital!

    I was there for four months learning to live a new life paralyzed from the chest down. A four hour drive over Mountain passes that my hubby and two daughters had to drive over every weekend, I worried about them the entire four hours until they walked safely into my room! No cell phones then, I would have been saved a lot of tears if we had cell phones! I finally got to go home and be there for my girls and sleep with my husband next to me and his arm around me! I knew with his support I could do this!

    Ok my point in sharing this with you is to encourage you to do the work, love every step and every muscle working to make you stronger. Listen to your body and know when the pain is to much and allow recovery and rehab as you face now. When they give you the go ahead, train to do this because it is something you yearn to do. Take care of your body, mind, and soul! Love each day and each accomplishment and Thai God each day for the amazing body you have been given and the wisdom to use it wisely and care for it lovingly.

    You can do this and I will be cheering you on, praying you will have that success that has you so proud of yourself you will be screaming at the top of your voice...."I did it!!"

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    2057 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/5/2012 10:13:57 PM
    Difficult perhaps but still a great deal! I pushed to hard a few weeks back on a simple walk while beginning an exercise routine with a 400+ lb body. In my mind, I'm still 21. In reality, I'm 43. I don't want to know what my weight translates my "true" physical age to. Luckily, it was only a hyper extended knee that has little pain now after 2 months of little to no exercise and I'm nursing it back for strength. I've been very angry that I was "ready to do this" and got shot down trying.

    LONG story short, this is the first of probably more injuries during this journey. Your blog post helps me remember that setbacks are a part of it and I need to just keep going anyway. Thanks for your inspiration.
    2057 days ago
    There is no doubt in my mind that you can achieve whatever you set out to achieve!!! I needed to read this today...I have to walk the walk EVERYDAY! Thank you!!
    2057 days ago
    I'm so proud of you! For facing your fear, for moving forward despite all the nervousness and doubt. Such a core of strength inside you, physically, mentally and emotionally!. Big sigh of relief that your cartilage is intact. Heal, bone, heal! Also glad you've got a great physical therapist to coach and cheer you on. No matter what happens with the training, with the race, you've crossed a finish line simply facing this challenge down and grinding it under your booted heel. God speed with recovery!
    2057 days ago
    You can do this. And even if for some reason you don't heal enough for the 1/2 marathon in October, you will know that your heart is the heart of a runner and you will find one in November to do instead. Because the goal is to get back to running, no matter what it takes.
    2057 days ago
    You can absolutely do this! You CAN. Don't ever think you can't. You are positive and you can get through this. Keep up the great work!
    2057 days ago
    You got this! You were running, now you will do pool work, you are SO capable! Believe and act!
    2058 days ago
    2058 days ago
  • DONNA5281

    I loved reading your blog!! I believe that you will do fine when it comes time to do the race!

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    2058 days ago
    No surgery? I am so jealous! lol Well, that is definitely some awesome news. You're going to be absolutely fine. Swimming is such an awesome way to burn a lot of calories & will help you a lot. Stay strong sweetie & good luck on your recovery & a better you!

    2058 days ago
    Even though you still have a bruised bone, I'm truly glad for you that it is nothing more serious and that it was found now instead of later when the damage would have inevitably been worse.

    And as for your upcoming plan of action: YOU GOT THIS!!!
    Yes, you doubt yourself, but who doesn't. We are entitled to prove ourselves wrong as much as possible and more.

    And do not forget to remind yourself everyday that YOU ARE WORTH IT
    2058 days ago
    It will be hard - you are absolutely right. But it will also be worth it. And think how great it will be when you look back at all the hard work and see how you succeeded. Go for it!!
    2058 days ago
    I have faith in you....you can do this!
    2058 days ago
  • DR8561
    I'm glad you got good news (no surgery!). You have the strength to do this - you've come so far already! Feelings aren't the most reliable gauge - they're affected by too many things. You'll find your focus and once you're in the groove, you'll be unstoppable! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2058 days ago
  • SHIRE33
    I have 15 or so pounds to go. I'm really committed to getting to that point now. I have been doing this for 15 months and I'm ready to hit my goal. This past week, I keep asking myself the same question: "Do you want to eat X or do you want to hit your goal?" I want the goal. I really do.

    I know that you really want this half-marathon. Just ask yourself that question every time. Doesn't mean you'll always choose the weight loss answer, but I bet you do a lot. I bet you do more and more and more. It's a process. If you have one misstep, then ask the question again the next time. And the next time.

    I am going to be reading your blog in October. I'm going to be at goal weight and reading about YOUR half-marathon!!

    2058 days ago
    I am a new-ish reader (about a month or so) and I have really been enjoying your blog. I am happy to learn that you will only be off your foot for a month while your ankle heals and love the way you have incorporated ST while enjoying the Olympics and are embracing alternate exercises for the time you will be "off your foot."

    "This is going to take some serious mental toughness. Quite honestly, I am nervous and scared and doubting myself at times."

    This is the quote that really spoke to me from today's post. My biggest challenge is the "mental toughness" - my body wants to run, it loves the feeling of being strong and active, but it is my head and all my insecurities that doubt my ability or try to sabotage my consistency. I always just thought that I couldn't do it. (All that negative self-talk - "I'm not an athlete." "I'm not strong/capable/tough/talented... like _______________." - Things that I would never in a million years say to someone else that I have repeated over and over again to myself.) I too am nervous and scared and have those feelings of doubt. I will think of what you have said while I ride my bike on the trainer today and do my long-run tomorrow. Thank you!
    2058 days ago
    Hang in there and keep it up! Injuries are so very difficult to work through, especially when you add excessive weight to the mix. But it sounds like you've got a great attitude (which goes a long way) and a good plan. Good luck!
    2058 days ago
  • LAURIE5658
    You CAN do this if YOU want it to. The ball is in YOUR court. Just do it!!!
    2058 days ago
    I love your blogs, you are a good writer and have a great sense of humor. Keep up the good work, and keep writing!
    2058 days ago
  • KIPPER15
    emoticon Follow the program and you could come back even stronger.
    2058 days ago
  • NIKO27
    2058 days ago
  • THEIS58
    You can do it! A great opportunity to balance calorie intake, good nutrition, and exercise. You inspire!
    2058 days ago
    You can do it! Focus on the weightloss while rehabing that ankle. Then when you get to run again you will be better than ever.

    Btw you are probably struggling with eating right now cause of the emotional aspect....you were on the wait and see rollercoaster.....where you wait for the results and do nothing but worry about the out come. I'm in that spot now. Ughh....waiting on the call with the appointment date and time for me to see the neurosurgeon.....it's murder I tell ya. And I gotta keep an eye on the emotional eating through this.

    Good luck and I'm glad you don't need surgery or anything more serious.
    2058 days ago
    Do the therapy, bike, swim whatever you have to do to get back,people can come back stronger from injuries. This could be a good time to focus on the weight loss I lose weight better when I am not training. Focus on that while you do the rehab.
    2058 days ago
  • NEWMOM20121
    So much information here. Sorry you had to make this decision, but happy because it could have been worse. Understand about not being able to jog.
    2059 days ago
    I know what you mean about injury. I know that living in a new location with new hills has to be part of my shin trouble, but who am I kidding...it;s my weight. My body-neck, legs, etc.. did not hurt like they do now because I did not have all the extra poundage. We can do this for our health. emoticon
    2059 days ago
    You can do this Leah! I know you can! And I'll be here to cheer you on! You're already doing such a great job! I'm so proud of you! If I could crawl through this computer to get through your computer to you, I'd give you a great big hug! You're my inspiration. A very successful young woman whom I admire! You have determination and motivation. You are a great success!
    2059 days ago
    Quit doubting yourself. I will be with you. What is a half marathon? What time is it and where? I need to know. While you are preparing for your run, I will try harder to do on my walking, and at the time you are running, I will walk at the same time. How long does it take for you to do your half marathon with 2 good legs? I will be with you. Let me know. At least in Spirit.
    2059 days ago
    Your really strong and you can do this! I know emoticon emoticon
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    2059 days ago
    I know of a lady who lost weight and ate ice cream every night. Did I mention she was also in a wheel chair. You can do this! Find a healthy life balance and weight loss balance!

    2059 days ago
    That's awesome news!!! So happy for you!!! Speedy recovery!!
    2059 days ago
    You will do it! You won't let yourself down. Remember, it could have been MUCH worse!

    I loved your Let's Make A Deal! You made a Great deal! Now go for it!!!!
    2059 days ago
    I am so happy for you. You have the opportunity to continue doing what you love to do. As for the steps to get there.... well everything has a price ... and you will be healthier and happier. As they say, it is for your own good and this truly is. I do realize it is not easy but I honestly believe you will do your very best.

    I continue to do my daily walks and wish you the very best of my positive thoughts. emoticon emoticon
    2059 days ago
  • 123ELAINE456
    Glad you found out what is wrong with the ankle from the Doctor. Now you know what action plan you need to take. You Can Do It!!! You have over two months before the Race. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. Take Care and Stay Cool. You are doing Good.
    2059 days ago
    Oh boy, I sure hear ya! Running is my primary mode of calorie burn and I get a constant pounding. Just got my new race bike yesterday and got an EPIC calorie burn....equal to running. No BS. On my mountain bike on the indoor trainer, I could only get about maybe 120 bpm at max in a sitting position...race bike... 120 was average. The gearing was different and the aero position used a whole new set of muscles that have not seen the light of day...I am eyeing the ibuprofen as we speak...

    35 min was 550 cal per hrm. Equavalent to my 5k calorie burn. :)
    2059 days ago
    You will overcome this obstacle. You are a WINNER!! There is no doubt in my mind that you will be succeed in anything you set your to mind.

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    2059 days ago
    great news all around! you've done a fantastic job with your weight loss so far, so you are right, the next step is developing the mental toughness to be strict with your eating. I completely understand because this is my biggest weakness and downfall as well. I will be working for the next couple of months on this, so you definitely have an "eating right" buddy ;) emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2059 days ago
    You say you don't know why you've been overeating. Do you think it could possibly be the tension of not knowing what to expect from the doctor? Hmmm?
    Anyway, I'm sure you'll get on track with all you have to do to be successful in your run. emoticon
    2059 days ago
    That is great news Hon!!! Pool therapy rocks!!! If you think you are burning calories YOU just wait!!! They have some awesome devises to make that therapy pay off even better than they used to! Make sure you tell them your goals and they will make sure you get the maximum workouts for you to heal. Jogging and running in the water is so theraputic! and the good news is that you will actually burn more calories doing it in the water due to the resistance of the water so once you are cleared to run/jog again it will feel like a breeze comp[ared to the resistance you incontered in the pool.

    Plus you can do a full routine of stretching, strength training plus your cardio! I just completed my PT and am going to do independant training while the trainers are still there and will continue to srengthen on my own and at my own pace. They know that I belong to Sparkpeople so they did interval training as well to really kick my butt! Thanks to the warm water and the salt pool I wasn't sore afterwards like I would have been had I done the same on land. I have lost so many inches by toning in the water! However the only bad thing is that it really makes you hungry!!!! And thirsty so drink lots of water afterwards! and Have a great time at the pool!
    2059 days ago
  • JENNNY135
    Great news from the doc, so make sure you listen to your ankle and take it easy. Please don't take this the wrong way but it won't be the end of the world if you decide not to do the HM in Oct. I would rather have you totally healed, than get reinjured on the run. But hey what do I know, I have total faith in you and you still have two months before the big event. Use this as the motivation to achieve your goals be that in Oct or another time.

    2059 days ago
    emoticon it may not be what you planned, but you'll reach your goal! Good news from the doc.
    2059 days ago
    Take it from someone who has been disabled all her life: PT means two things; Physical Therapy OR Personal Training and you can look at them to mean the same thing to you. As a means to a goal. As to getting stricter about your diet; hey you got two months. Starting now you'll be in great shape! HUGS!!
    2059 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/3/2012 12:40:27 AM
    Sounds like things will work out for you after all...

    2059 days ago
    Glad that you know what is going on now, and have a plan of action.
    2059 days ago
    Hilarious - but ow! Good luck with your PT and training.
    2059 days ago
    Well, it seems like that while a bruised bone is there, surety isn't needed, so that's super awesome. I am really disliking being sidelined, surgery isn't fun at all... We're both lucky because, no matter what, we've got amazing cheering squads and nurses on our sides... Right? :) we've got this, well beat this!
    2059 days ago
    Tough spot to be on but you are one tough lady! Hang in there - you can do it!
    2059 days ago
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