So my youngest will be starting Kindergarten in a few weeks (I won't panic. I won't panic.) For those of you who follow my Custodial Auntie turned Mommy blog - you know that my youngest has been my wild card. She's dubbed Vampire - due to having been booted from three daycare facilities for biting. She is strong willed, obstinate, and very matter of fact. But she is also loving, compassionate, and sometimes quite funny.
In my school district they encourage the Kindergarteners to go to Safety Town. It is a week long class, comprised of two hours each day of hanging out with a police officer, and a group of too cool teenagers, learning all about safety (Stranger Danger, Bus safety, crossing the street safety). They implemented this free program years ago in memory of a child who was killed at the bus stop. The police officer that did it when DQ was in it (2 yrs ago) retired. Now the police officer is this young, cocky prick. He actually had the nerve to make fun of a 5 year old who told her mommy that she loved her when her mommy dropped her off, mocking her in an immature voice, "I love you too". The little girl was so embarrassed, and I was dreading leaving my child with this guy.
Maybe he has little man syndrome. He is about 5'3". He is very fit. But his demeanor and attitude SUCK.
So yesterday I am dropping V off, and it was the day they check the car seats, to ensure we are being safe with our children. He said my seat was good, then turns his attention on V and says, "Now little girl, are you going to behave in class today?"
I am thinking.... "Little girl? Don't you know her name?" And... "Oh crap... she isn't sitting still for two hours of Safety Town... is she ready for all day Kindergarten?"
He then looks at me and says, "Mom we need to discuss the importance of listening to authority figures with this one..."
I stare at him blankly. Really? He had to say that to me. Because I have been discussing that with her for the past three years I have been struggling with the daycare system. I've even stooped to bribery.
I then explain that she has to miss her nap to be at Safety Town, that I just woke her up, and brought her out.
He then asks why I don't lay her down earlier and plan for Safety Town.
I then tell him that I work, and she is in daycare, and that is their scheduled nap time.
He then tells me, "My daughter never napped. Around 8 months of age she just quit sleeping through the day. My wife and I don't believe in naps. Makes a person lazy."
At this point I feel he is judging me. I am overweight. V is in the higher end of her weight class for her age... she's just thick. I encourage her to eat right, and truth be told, she will eat veggies quicker than DQ (who is rail thin). He is looking at me like I am some pig who disgusts him.
I state that I can't change the daycare's policy, and head off to sign V in. Prick.
This small encounter was enough to have me doubting myself. Granted this is the time of the month I become a bit of a hormonal train wreck - but I just felt so fat, ugly, and worthless. Because this little jerk of a man was judging me. Why? Because I have dealt with it so much in my life.
I let this (and being exhausted) keep me from exercising last night. I came home, ate dinner, and went to bed. I meant to run. I even texted my aunt asking her if she wanted to go for a run (because she had mentioned she wanted to start joining me), but she never texted me back, so I went to sleep.
BUT!!!!! I did get up and run this morning. I am so happy I did. I feel invigorated. When I started, I ached all over, and didn't know if I could do it, but after the second interval... I felt wonderful. Alive. Strong enough to conquer the world. And the Safety Town Cop. Screw him. Who cares what he thinks. He might look at me and see an overweight mother who needs to do more for her child... but he doesn't know that my child isn't my birth child, and she has some issues from suspected drug/alcohol abuse while in the womb. He doesn't know that I have been consistently exercising for nearly a month - and I WANT to make this a lifelong endeavor. He doesn't know that we see a therapist weekly for DQ and V's issues, and we are doing all we can in the home to help them. Our current daycare is doing all it can to help V. It might not be perfect, but we are doing the best we can with what we are given, and if that isn't enough for him... I just don't care.
It feels good to not care. I am going to drop her off today, holding my head high, and doing my very best! I am not going to let some jerk ruin everything good I have been doing for myself, and my children. Take that Safety Town Cop!
Monday: 5K training (6a)
Tuesday: a walk or Zumba
Wednesday: 5K training (done Thurs am.)
Thursday: str training
Friday: 5K training
Saturday: Flash mob practice, 30 minute walk