Wednesday, August 01, 2012
During the month of August I am going to focus on getting back on track and staying there. I have been on a steady climb back up to my all-time high and I have told myself that I am not going back there. I have felt the shame, the anger and the sadness associated with regaining the weight that I had previously lost.
At my TOPS meeting last night I walked in the doors with my head held low fearing another gain. I even contemplated quitting, even though, my username for SparkPeople says I am determined. I can't lose sight of that determination. I actually lost 2 pounds at my meeting and for the life of me I don't know how. I didn't argue with the verdict and although I walked into that meeting feeling so defeated, I left with such a positive attitude.
We had to set goals to reach by September 25, 2012. I chose 15 pounds thinking I had 14 weeks to do it in. Big mistake I thought, after realizing my mistake. I divided the 57 days by 4 instead of dividing it by 7, which would have given me 8 weeks instead. Self-doubt started to creep in. I wanted to take back my commitment to the group. but I had already turned in my slip of paper which I had written my goal. Then something in me said that I could do it. I actually started to believe that I could lose 7 1/2 pounds per month for the next two months. I realized that I could do it and I will do it. I will prove to myself that I am determined and that I am not quitter.
My positive attitude has once again returned. I found a groove today in which I can use to start getting back on track. Today has been a successful day both for my food intake and my exercise.
Although I may not be exercising like I want to be, I am at least making the effort and making progress.