I'm alive! I'm healthy! I'm still kinda' fat though...
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Holy crap, I haven't blogged in ages! But, as you have all seen, I'm still actively logging food and exercise, still commenting on the occasional blog/status (when I have time to read them), and updating my status when I can. I'm still Sparking -- just not blogging.
What can I say? It's really hard to find time to blog when you're working 9 hour days, then coming home to the chaos of job hunting, moving, and fixing up your first house!
So here are some highlights and low points of my summer so far:
~Miles and I became homeowners on June 29th. We moved into our new house the very same weekend, and the past month of my life has been taken up by disturbingly materialistic pursuits. I've been having to convince myself that it's actually NOT shallow to want every room of your house to have furniture in it -- it's just practical.
~My house is the bomb digs!! I'll post pictures in a separate blog.
~I've applied for approximately 30 jobs this summer, have had several extremely promising interviews, but I'm still working a job that makes me miserable more than it makes me happy. Miles and I have had four fights this year, and they have ALL stemmed from my feelings about work.
~My hopes of becoming pregnant this year have been dashed since I don't have full-time work or health insurance (which I had been unofficially promised by my boss!) I’m trying not to let it totally get to me though – there’s a lot of 2012 left and change is always possible.
~I gained two pounds over the summer but I lost them again without really trying!
~I’m turning 28 in 30 days and I don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not where I wanted to be, you know? But my present from Miles is that I’m having lunch with ALTON BROWN! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!
So that’s my personal life!
I’ve had some really great habits this summer—I’ve been active every single day, without fail. Even days when I don’t do a real workout, I’m getting activity in by painting the house, cleaning, doing lots of errands, etc. I rode my bike to work an average of 2 days per week during our second (4-week) camp, but sadly I only rode it home 4 times because of thunder storms and 105-degree temps. When I didn’t ride, I would either do some aerobics at home, go for a run to explore the new neighborhood, strength train, and/ or go swimming for 3 hours with my campers.
One thing that is pretty silly, but still meaningful for me, is that I learned how to do underwater handstands and back flips this summer. YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW! Just be fearless!
I’ve been eating mostly healthy foods, which is normal at this point. Problem is, I’ve been eating more unhealthy foods too – pieces of chocolate, mini brownies, ice cream, etc. My boss is heavy duty on the “let’s eat to deal with our crappy work days!” messages, and even if I say no half the time, I’m still eating crap the other half. Now that camp is over, it’s obviously easier.
But camp is over, I’m on vacation, and I’m taking time to reevaluate. I’m trying to find a way to keep myself on the low carb wagon, but it’s just... it’s just hard. Miles is the only person in my life who respects my choices, but since he doesn’t have to eat low-carb, we still have tempting things in the house. If I leave the house and am with friends, they ALWAYS offer me chips/ bread/ drinks/ sweets. Saying no is exhausting and all it takes is one splurge to trigger a week of cravings!
I know that going hard core for a month would change things. But I would not last. I don’t think I have what it takes to go into a hard-core Initiation Phase of 20 or fewer grams of carbs per day – I can’t even eat an avocado or almonds on that kind of restriction – but I have to figure something out. I’m averaging under 60 grams of net carbs per day, and that’s good. On a “bad” day it’s between 70 and 85 net carbs, which isn’t bad by some standards. But I have to be way more consistent if I want to lose these last 5 pounds!
Luckily, there is one thing that always sets my eating right:
So I’ve decided to run another Half Marathon, here in Chattanooga. I have the time now, and I love the challenge.
I went for a 6 mile run a couple of weeks ago, and it was the happiest I had felt in over a month. I felt like MYSELF. I felt calm. I felt confident. I felt sane. I just love running so much, and if I can’t have a job that makes me happy, or a baby, then I am going to have racing. Because it brings me joy, and I deserve joy.
I worked my ass off all summer for something that was important, but not my choice. It’s time to take care of ME again!!!