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    JOHNTJ1   72,505
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints

Look Into My Eyes, Do They Dazzle?

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Wednesday, August 01, 2012

I consider myself a live and let live sort of guy. As a small business owner living in a very tight economy, I know you have to watch every nickel and dime and maximize every opportunity to generate revenue. It means you stay competitive in the market place by offering your customers a better pricing structure. I get all of that.

I was a team player when Spark started posting ads for feminine hygiene products. Yeah, I know the demographic states that most subscribers here are female and yes this is free web site, and yes I’ve met some very cool people, and no I don’t want it to go away. I realize they have to generate revenue in some form or fashion. I grinned and bore it. (GIRANIMAL is bore the plural of bear?) It speaks to the success of what these fine folks have accomplished. It’s like the old song from the 80’s by Billy Squires’, “Everybody Wants You.” Way to go Spark Team!!!

However, (There is always an however isn’t there?) when I went to read my email this morning I received a notice from Spark People suggesting I “ditch my current mascara,” and use a product “as seen on The Doctors.” I could save a ton of money and my eyes would be more dazzling and brilliant in 60 Days. Oh yeah, free shipping also!!!

I ran, or what resembles a run for me these days, a sort of herky-jerky waddle, up the stairs and shouted to Joan “What brand of mascara do we use?” She assured me that we were well within the guidelines suggested by The Doctors. (Joan DVR’s The Doctors and Doctor Oz while she’s at work.) I breathed a sigh of relief and came back to my computer only to see an add on my personal page that asked what type of tissue did I use? I use what Joan buys. She handles the money. (I tried to buy a monkey one time. That’s when she took the checkbook away from me.)

Chris, thank you for being concerned with my well-being and overall health but at 6:30 AM I was a bit overwhelmed by all those decisions. Thank goodness I don’t need probiotic yogurt! I for one would gladly pay a fee for this site. I believe, as someone once said, it separates the contenders from the pretenders. Until then I’ll have to limp along worrying my eyes look okay.

Gosh, I hope I don’t have to deal with lip gloss.

Joan kissed me on the forehead and told me my eyes dazzle, just the way they always have in the past.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BLUEJEAN99 8/3/2012 1:56AM


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CARTOONB 8/3/2012 12:36AM

    Dazzling? Definitely.

Poor John...too many decisions.

A monkey? And Joan said no? How rude!

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MARYJEANSL 8/3/2012 12:05AM

  Definitely dazzling. Definitely. ;-)

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SIMOFDIM 8/2/2012 10:42PM

    Well said! I received the same ad, and hit delete. You have a great sense of humor!

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MAMAWALMART 8/2/2012 10:06PM

    I can relate John. Especially when I get emails for ED, Pampers and AARP. I'm a female who is to old for babies but not old enough for AARP. I laugh at the thought of needing the little blue pill, don't think it would help me, LOL.
I really enjoy your blogs, hope they continue.
God Bless and Keep Smiling

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JAMER123 8/2/2012 8:34PM

    Wonderful sense of humor!! Love it!!! Thanks for a great smile (without the mascara and lipstick!) emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PATRICIAANN46 8/2/2012 6:51PM

  Wonderful sense of humor.............. emoticon

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LINDAMARIEZ1 8/2/2012 5:40PM

    John, Your eyes are dazzling! @@

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SMOULINIER 8/2/2012 4:10PM

  I remember many, many years ago I participated in Weight Watchers and lost 70 pounds in 14 months. I had to quit the program because I DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY TO CONTINUE after my husband died. I have learned to ignore ads that don't interest me and fortunately I get minimal "junk mail". Wonderful blog as always! emoticon

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KADYSMOM11 8/2/2012 1:23PM

    hahaha! great post! emoticon emoticon

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1BELINDA8 8/2/2012 12:50PM

    John, fantastic post. Loved it! I also received the email for the mascara...I don't wear mascara...yes, i'm a strange late teens early twenties I did wear mascara (and a lot of other goopy stuffy) now in my 30's, i'm just me. I rarely wear makeup unless going out...thanks to SparkPeople for helping me on my journey to be more confident in the real me. :) had it not been free...I wouldn't be here today...on SparkPeople that is ;)

I am very happy that you are using the correct mascara and have dazzling eyes and that Joan takes such great care of you (as well as saving you from buyers remorse) lol ;)

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MOMMY445 8/2/2012 12:47PM

    that is soo funny! thanks for brightening up my day,John!

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MYOWNHERO 8/2/2012 12:45PM

    But just think how much MORE dazzling with the right mascara.

Also...I'd love to hear the monkey story one day. My ads currently promise me that I need Ninja Kitchen System. My kitchen looks woefully un-ninja-like now.

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DAYSPRING-STAR 8/2/2012 12:37PM

    We'll take Joan's word for it that they dazzle, but definitely they "Sparkle."

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NEEDBU66 8/2/2012 11:58AM

    Its one thiing to dodge all those ads trying to type in my food, and another to get one in the e-mail. I didn't like that much. However, I get a lot of e-mail that just gets deleted, really, its just one more.

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BAMAJAM 8/2/2012 11:01AM

  Hey John,

Recently saw a TV commercial---"Funeral Advantage"---
Hubby and I laughed and laughed---
Now I know, John, you can write a VERY FUNNY blog with this subject!! LOL
(... and BTW this subject does not exclude gender) haha

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DEBK0923 8/2/2012 10:58AM

    this was funny, your eyes are great. I joined sparks because it was free, but as I was on I discovered they really want to help people with the weight issue. and since it is free it is a glorious benefit to me, and I wouldn't be able to read so many wonderful blogs if it weren't.

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LIVELYGIRL2 8/2/2012 10:39AM

  I can see that this would be funny. I usually don't get pop-ups. I ignore the majority of the other ads.

Honestly, there would be less people here, if we had a bill. I can see your point, but being free is an amazing, unique resource!!!

Many of the other sites are so manipulative!!! I also have been bugged, when they give your name to hundreds of snail mail or e-mail things. I had my yahoo account for almost 10 years. I inquired about " 1" home job. Now I get calls day and night, and got objectionable ads, somehow. It's hard to get rid of.

Spark actually cares about their clients, and even for the don't purchase. Now that alone, makes me WANT to buy something, or refer others.

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LAURIE5658 8/2/2012 10:01AM

    I would also gladly pay a fee for no ads but don't say that out loud on Spark. There are folks that get their granny panties in a mega tight wad. Do NOT go there. Until we get our wish continue to take notes on which skin toner to go to.


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NWFL59 8/2/2012 9:56AM

    yep you dazzle with your cheeky humor emoticon

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LARRI2010 8/2/2012 9:37AM

    I get emails all the time to enhance body parts I never knew I had. These aren't from SparkPeople, mind you - in fact, I don't know where they come from - most of them have my own return address!

By the way, I use Firefox browser and AdBlock Plus extension. No more annoying ads anywhere on the internet! It's great! And worth the price - free!

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HEARTS116 8/2/2012 9:22AM


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CHRISTOPHER280 8/2/2012 9:21AM


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BIRDLSLAURIE 8/2/2012 9:19AM

    Hilarious. Thanks for my daily dose of I really need to go check MY mascara. Hahaha emoticon

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MANDALORE 8/2/2012 9:19AM


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SMALLT 8/2/2012 9:08AM

    Tickle me funny bone. LOL

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SASSYLJB 8/2/2012 8:52AM

    I think your eyes are just fine the way they are please don't change them!


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DJSHIP46 8/2/2012 8:41AM

    Thank you!

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FARIS71 8/2/2012 8:29AM


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DIANNEMT 8/2/2012 8:27AM

    I like my ad blocker! And yes, I'll put up with stuff--free is REALLY nice.

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MIMIDOT 8/2/2012 8:03AM

    Thank you for your great blog. You made me smile, and that's a good way to start the day. Spark on!!!!

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NEWMOM20121 8/2/2012 8:00AM

    Well said.

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GARDENCHRIS 8/2/2012 7:41AM

    Cute..... you can A:WAYS put an Ad BLOCKER on ..... Ad Block is an excellent one. I get NO ads ever popping up ....... I love it!

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WALLINMW 8/2/2012 7:40AM

  Great blog!

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MARYELLEN301 8/2/2012 7:33AM

    I installed an ad blocker a while back as the political ads were really beginning to irk me, so that stopped a lot of the junk that appears. The "mascara warning" though came as a separate SP mailer as I recall. I don't have a TV, so I'm not subjected to the afternoon doctoring, but I don't put any stock in anything the Prima Donnas (or Donalds, as the case may be!) have to preach about. I guess the only recourse is the good old delete button! We didn't even get a point for reading the darn thing!

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TRYINGHARD54 8/2/2012 7:25AM

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NEWTINK 8/2/2012 7:00AM

    Your humor is very adequate this early in this morning, However there is one line that I didnt find funny but I suppose like you I shall Just grin at it and move along . Hope Your day is good for you ... And congrats on haveing a featured blog again that is nice to see.

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BESSHAILE 8/2/2012 6:28AM

    LOL! Love you for starting my day off with a laugh. Lucky lucky Joan.

And be sure to let her keep hold of that checkbook!

LOL emoticon

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LETHANIA 8/2/2012 5:50AM

    hilarious! I needed that today.

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NANA2ANGELS 8/2/2012 5:25AM

    Love, love this blog. Thanks for the perk me up this A.M. emoticon

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NCSUE0514 8/2/2012 5:18AM

    Your eyes DO dazzle, but are you using the right foundation? This is something else to ask The Doctors about.

Great post!

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ON2VICTORY 8/2/2012 5:10AM

    i was just wondering this the other day.... Why do i need feminine products??? Lol..... Its the digital world in which we live...

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  My husband is also on Spark People and one day last week he called me into his office to look at the ad on HIS Spark Page...

DOMINOES PIZZA...we laughed until we cried!!!

Thanks for this also made us laugh until we cried of all "my" mascara!!!


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BECKYANNE1 8/2/2012 2:04AM

    Funny! I enjoyed your blog!

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NASFKAB 8/2/2012 1:35AM

  I read the email for the point never use mascara it was a great blog as usual good laugh

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LYNMEINDERS 8/2/2012 1:31AM

    hahahaha...still chuckling

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CBRIGGS1956 8/1/2012 9:42PM


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MOBYCARP 8/1/2012 9:01PM

    Ads in email. Worth one Spark Point per email. And an occasional chuckle when someone like you shows me how to look at them.

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ONEKIDSMOM 8/1/2012 8:27PM

    LOL! I hate to say this, but now you know how I feel when my e-mail fills up with ads that say I can increase the size of some genetic equipment God *didn't* give my gender!

You're a funny guy, and I'm quite certain your eyes dazzle!

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    LOL. It's our lives now. I guess I must be an old fart because all of the T.V, shows I watch are dealing with some body part not functioning, something being stopped up, or something dripping. Hubby and I don't have any of these problems so we find it disturbing. I don't want to listen to commercials about constipation, impotence, feminine hygiene, boogers, toe fungus, etc. I much prefer the mascara commercial.

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