I consider myself a live and let live sort of guy. As a small business owner living in a very tight economy, I know you have to watch every nickel and dime and maximize every opportunity to generate revenue. It means you stay competitive in the market place by offering your customers a better pricing structure. I get all of that.

I was a team player when Spark started posting ads for feminine hygiene products. Yeah, I know the demographic states that most subscribers here are female and yes this is free web site, and yes I’ve met some very cool people, and no I don’t want it to go away. I realize they have to generate revenue in some form or fashion. I grinned and bore it. (GIRANIMAL is bore the plural of bear?) It speaks to the success of what these fine folks have accomplished. It’s like the old song from the 80’s by Billy Squires’, “Everybody Wants You.” Way to go Spark Team!!!

However, (There is always an however isn’t there?) when I went to read my email this morning I received a notice from Spark People suggesting I “ditch my current mascara,” and use a product “as seen on The Doctors.” I could save a ton of money and my eyes would be more dazzling and brilliant in 60 Days. Oh yeah, free shipping also!!!

I ran, or what resembles a run for me these days, a sort of herky-jerky waddle, up the stairs and shouted to Joan “What brand of mascara do we use?” She assured me that we were well within the guidelines suggested by The Doctors. (Joan DVR’s The Doctors and Doctor Oz while she’s at work.) I breathed a sigh of relief and came back to my computer only to see an add on my personal page that asked what type of tissue did I use? I use what Joan buys. She handles the money. (I tried to buy a monkey one time. That’s when she took the checkbook away from me.)

Chris, thank you for being concerned with my well-being and overall health but at 6:30 AM I was a bit overwhelmed by all those decisions. Thank goodness I don’t need probiotic yogurt! I for one would gladly pay a fee for this site. I believe, as someone once said, it separates the contenders from the pretenders. Until then I’ll have to limp along worrying my eyes look okay.

Gosh, I hope I don’t have to deal with lip gloss.

Joan kissed me on the forehead and told me my eyes dazzle, just the way they always have in the past.