Painful Loss

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

No, this isn't a story about weight loss. This is about the loss of a person who I would have so loved to meet in person...but did not. However our friendship was strong. I am sure we can all attest to how strong we develop bonds here on SP. This is about a wonderful woman named Teresa. She was the quiet type. Not quick to jump on a bandwagon or say the popular thing. Very much centered on her family, and not spending so much time wishing for different family. She maybe, if I talk to her one on one, will realize how she quietly inspired me (in addition to my own kids) to get up and move about to get healthier.

I came to know Teresa when I became a mother of twin girls, fast approaching 8 years. That is a long time to know a person. She poured her heart and soul into her the point that she chose to home school her children. Teresa was diagnosed 9 months ago with colon cancer. It was a shock to her. I do not know if she knew to ask all the questions. But frankly, I don't know if she wanted all of the answers. It was the big C, and she would beat it down with whatever ammunition her doctors would throw at it. She was very willing to do so. She underwent surgery, and then chemo. She would tell us how the chemo made her feel, but not a lot about the other things that probably ran through her mind. As far as we knew, she had time. Time to do some things for the sake of her kids, to leave something lasting.

None of us knows, even as we lay our head on the pillow, what the next day will bring. But for Teresa, for her kids, they were on my mind all the time. I came to learn last week that she became terribly ill and had to undergo surgery. The cancer had progressed and was taking over her organs. My heart stopped, I gasped, and I knew. this was it. The time she felt she had was suddenly shortened, and I grieved for Teresa. I grieved for her children, so close in age (if not the same age) as some of my own. Knowing how important our presence and our touch is for them. I felt helpless, and I still do. I think and feel heart wrenching sorrow for them, and wish that this would not be the way it would have to go.

Teresa lost her battle to colon cancer this past Saturday, surrounded by her beautiful children, her parents, and her husband. I feel that she knew her parents had made it to her bedside, and it was okay to let go.

There have been two signs that I felt were things I want her kids to look at and think of her: fireworks and rainbows. The evening that I found out about Teresa's passing, I was at a local baseball game. I knew the day was too quiet, and I didn't like that at all. I just knew. At the end of the ballgame, they let off a beautiful display of fireworks, and I thought 'what a way to welcome a gal to heaven'. Tonight, the evening of her wake and funeral service, there was a beautiful rainbow in the sky after a recent storm. Another sign that she has a beautiful path to the heavens. And so I hope for her family, who I know hurts so terribly, that they could see these two things, and find a little peace in them. I took pictures of both and want to send them on.

We need to love and respect those that matter. Don't squabble over the things that do not matter. I tell my kids this all the time. I do believe I'll echo it as long as I have breath in me.

If you don't mind saying a prayer (if you are the praying type), then please wrap a prayer around Teresa's family during this time of heartache. emoticon
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