Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Yes I have been missing in action and I know that.. I always find that when I blog I am getting something off my chest.. and there has been a lot of holding me back only because I feel that I have nothing to give.. or say that is motivating,.. I have been feeling less then motivating these past few weeks and I am not sure what it is,
I just feel like that I am not centered or focused I mean I seem do do ok all day long with my program and but then something will come across my way and I cave.. it seems to be happening every day and I mean day after day it seems like I cannot get 2 or 3 or even 4 days of good clean eating I start out breakfast, lunch and dinner good. but night time comes and I am not I pick at this or pick at that. the next day is followed by work out hard and drinking a ton of water. then night comes.. and it is that way again I fear the worst.. a huge binge.. a binge so big that It will shake the very core of me and the next day will not be started a work out or a clean slate but a day of remorse and starvation then followed by more binging and before you know I am back to where I could care less that I ride my bike go for a walk, do a 5k or even g9 to the gym again.. then at night I will be back on the couch with a bag of chips and then an 1/2 gallon of ice cream.. all to keep eating and eating and eating. OMG I do not want this.. I feel this could happen in one heart beat.. and I am not going to let it happen, I need to get serious I need to stop the picking.. stop the being a "loose" woman with food.
so I need to take action and I can say I need help and do not know what to do..
I really do not know how I can stop this madness and get back on track.
but I can say I am willing and I want to try.
I am going to make August the month where I get back with the program
and I am going to blog. because it does help in stead of keeping it bottled up in side of me..