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    CARAMELPHOENIX   2,215
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God....and the fat girl. Help please?


Sunday, July 29, 2012

So, I decided to break barriers and go to church today. Somehow, I figured I would feel most comfortable at the BIGGEST church in Birmingham, AL. The Church of the Highlands. Here's a picture.



I went here because of two reasons. One, my mother loved Calvary Assembly ( a megachurch in Decatur AL) and I felt home there. Two, I prefer radical churches that would understand that I don't identify myself as a Christian. I am a Christ believer. Big difference. Trust me.

Anyways, I post this because of a big issue. I saw hundreds of people and felt that they had the bodies that could help the kingdom of God. They are accepted by society. Beautiful women, with beautiful husbands and children. As a fat girl, i've yet to feel real beauty. I feel that I only bring shame to the kingdom. I felt odd, and out of place.

Sometimes, I wonder how God could love me when his very creations label my existence as shameful. An alcoholic and drugie can put on nice clothes, add makeup and hide their sins. I hold my issues with food where everyone can see in pounds. Has ANYONE ever felt the same way? How do you face those thoughts?

But enough of that. I hope you all are great. :D Happy Sunday.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DEEZILE 2/28/2013 11:24AM

    God said that he is to be worshiped in spirit and in truth. He is looking for obedience to his word and his spirit. God's love is endless without parameters. You are on your way for change but it should define who you are. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. That's what the word says not me!!!!! Let God define you, not man. Please for me.... Don't refer to yourself as Fat Girl. God doesn't see us that way.

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BETHIEBOOPS 8/2/2012 11:58AM

    I get it. But I also believe in a God who loves, forgives and cherishes us. That means you too. We look at the outward appearance of everyone, but God looks at our hearts. Without Jesus, the Bible tells us, that no one is "good" "worthy" or "righteous". We are all gross dirty rags on the inside without Jesus. Sin is sin and it taints us fully.

But with Jesus, we are not only forgiven but also made clean, perfect and wonderful. We're now seen, not as our disgusting selves, but as a clean righteous being worthy of being a child of God.

Your addiction, whether visible or not, is not the matter here. The matter is that we serve a loving God. Our identities can rest in this, instead of our insecurities. emoticon

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NIKKICOLE83 8/1/2012 5:51PM

    I can almost 100% guarantee that no one took issue with you ro your body. They were excited to see a new sister in Christ. I know its hard not to be self-concious but remember there is probably someone looking at you wishing they could be your size.

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BAMAROSE 7/30/2012 3:15PM

  I have felt the same way at times, but I believe that God does love us. Remember that His own creations, as you say, crucifed His son. We all have sin, and it's true that for those of us with food issues, it is more visible. I know TCOTH has a lot of small groups, maybe you can find one that you would feel comfortable in and get to know some people. (I am a member of another church, but know lots of folks who go to TCOTH, and I have visited there several times)

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SHORTTOOTH1 7/30/2012 2:21PM

    My journey started when I was in a church and I felt God call me to loose weight to respect my body. He can help you to reach any goal you set for yourself (assuming it's not against his teachings). All of those beautiful women have kept Christ in their hearts, when they are having weak moments they reach out to him and each other. You can use the same saving grace in your struggle.

Also, you are already a beautiful person. Doesn't the Bible say something about "Judge not, lest ye should be judged"?

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X5X52000 7/29/2012 9:26PM

    emoticon

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DIET_FRIEND 7/29/2012 4:53PM

    I have become pretty self-concious about my size too. We overweight people cannot hide as you mentioned as other groups can.

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