Sunday, July 29, 2012
Oh brother, do I need to get back on track!
This weekend was wonderful and crazy. I had my nieces for a second night (they spent the whole week in CT at my mother's house between their first visit and their last with me) and we went to a very fun annual event, the New Milford Village Fair Days.
For two days at the end of July, our village green is bedecked with white tents from one end to the other. On one end of the green you'll find local businesses, political parties, churches, nature centers, and health services set up offering information, free pens (or other giveaways) and screenings. Right in the middle is a large tent where live music and demonstrations from the martial arts and dance schools happen all day, and not far from there are all the FOOD TENTS -- local restaurants set up shop and offer some of their specialties, and other non-local food vendors set up shop. This year one of the tents had deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches -- not for me, thanks! Ick! After the food come all the arts and crafts vendors, facepainters, glass blowers, etc. You name it, it's probably there.
It's SO DIFFERENT going there with the girls than with our boys. Our boys were interested in food and that's it. My nieces wanted to stop at EVERY SINGLE TENT. Needless to say, I ate fair food and didn't really bother tracking it. Sure I got some exercise walking up and down the green, but I haven't really exercised for weight loss in over a week.
To be honest, as awesome as it was being the Done Girl of the Day, I kind of felt like a fraud because I have been working my plan so half-a$$ed these last two weeks. I'd have a good day and then end up eating a little too much dinner, or I would start off with things from Dunkin Donuts I have no business eating (but tracking my calories so I could beat myself up good and hard for eating a donut).
UGH!! It sucks and I feel like crap.
HOWEVER, this is a new day, a new hour! I've planned a healthy dinner with local veggies from the farmer's market getting top billing. I have time to do 30 Day Shred today and I am committing to myself to get it done today.
I'm eloping in THREE DAYS HOLY CRAP. Then we're in Cape Cod for a whole week. I'm already looking for more active things to do -- like kayaking or standing paddle-boarding. Our cottage is less than a quarter mile from the beach...I am hoping to go on morning walks with my sister most mornings.
I can make a plan, but the most important actions are the actions I can take TODAY.
One of my favorite sayings I've learned hanging around 12-step programs is, "You cannot think your way into right action, you have to act your way into right thinking." I also like, "Move a muscle, change a thought."
Rather than sitting here feelng stagnant, sorry for myself, and unworthy of my Done Girl of the Day day, I am going to go chop up my brussels sprouts, marinate my pork cutlets, and get down in my BadA$$ Fitness Basement and give myself 20 minutes to get a little sweaty.
I am tired of punishing myself for my flaws. Instead of thinking about what a jerk I've been, (and really, was I a jerk? NO! I'm so mean to myself in my head!) I'm going to do things that build my self-esteem instead of thinking things that make it worse.
Starting right this second, I am forgiving myself for the last couple of weeks and saying out loud to my sparkfriends that I am never, never, never giving up on myself. I am in this for the long-haul, this detour was shorter than the last one, and it's all about progress, not perfection. Perfect food/exercise days would be nice, but I'm going to take a page out of "The Spark" and work on tiny achievable goals and build on that.