Sunday, July 29, 2012
I either look forward to or dread Sundays. Since Monday feels like a fresh start its easy to make Sunday my "cheat day." But coming out of a bad month i need to maintain focus on portion and power through at least 2 weeks of clean sane eating before I even step on the scale. I know I gained weight during the past month being so out of control, but i refused to get on the scale and see what the damage actually was. Some may say "face the music," know what weigh so you know how much you need to lose and how much your binge cost you.....But for me the mental obsession of the scale just adds to the unhealthy choices I make. Getting on the scale would cause me to cut my food back so much I would starve, then I would try to workout like a mad woman, eventually I would lose control being so hungry and dealing with the mental guilt and torture and have another binge. So Im waiting til I am 2 weeks clean with healthy eating, then Ill get on the scale (maybe) and see what I am dealing with. I am already feeling better, thinking clearer, doing some journaling (which by the way if I go MIA on spark chances are I am in the food) and reading the AA book and 24hours a day book for guidance and insight. If you have not read the AA book (or at least parts of it) I highly suggest you pick up a copy. Addiction is addiction in my opinion and I simply replace their alcohol/alcoholic verbage with food related terms.
So its sunday, Im eating clean, I have no plans for today to get out of the house. This will be a relaxing day, but it will be a struggle to stay out of the food and not obsess over it. I can do it though. HAppy eating to all!